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You must go on.


            I can't go on.


            I'll go on.



-Samuel Beckett, last lines of The Unnamable, as cited in Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air

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I love Leonard Cohen.


There is a crack

        A crack

    In everything

  That's how the     

    Light gets in...


This is one of the things that made so much sense to me from the beginning.  I was shattered, I was broken.  Broken enough to let the light in.

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'What if this is as good as it gets?'- Jack Nicholson, ' As Good As It Gets'

'Love's a terrible price to pay for company.' - Caleb Cobb

  'I thought y'all were gonna make it.' 'We did make it.'- conversation between me and a friend

  'I know what it's like to hate the Bluecoat.' - Gatewood to Davis, regarding Geronimo

  'I hear it takes a year to get over it.' - my Granny

      ' I know you lost someone too'- MIL

  You don't know about lonely

    Til it's written in stone

    'Bible and Sword!'- Captain Skull, and my wife's slogan, tatoo, and tshirt once we found out she had cancer.

  'Nothing is either right or wrong, only thinkin makes it so'- the Bard

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“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.”



― James O'Barr

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"She died at home with me and her parents holding her, hopefully having reach some last minute peace.  It's all very sad and surreal. So much is left unfinished for her. She was a firehose of brilliant ideas that never turned off. We loved her and everything is weird now. "


- Phil Elverum





Boy does this one speak to me...




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“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”



― Washington Irving


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"I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true”

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

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Nick Cave sits in a Sydney hotel room, his chair facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city bathed in summer sun beyond and below. “Look,” he continues, patiently choosing his words, “not to just keep going on about this, but the whole grief thing, there's nothing good about it whatsoever. People will tell you other things, but it's like a fucking disease. A contagion that not only affects you but everybody around you. And it's cunning. And you can feel good and you can be getting on with things, and then it just comes up and sort of punches you in the back of the head and you're down and you're out for the count for a while. I don't just mean psychologically, I mean physically too. Grief and illness and tiredness feed off each other in a kind of feeding frenzy.'


- from an interview in GQ magazine

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Advice for a young man, but also works for a widow:



'So, sweetie, I don't know if we ever figure our lives out, and the people who help you, they might not be who you thought or wanted. They might just be the people who show up.'


Dorothea from 20th Century Women


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Found this a few days ago but I can not remember where. It might have been on this forum actually.


‘Tis a Fearful Thing

‘Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch.

A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be –

to be, And oh, to lose.

A thing for fools, this,

And a holy thing,

a holy thing to love.

For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me.

To remember this brings painful joy.

‘Tis a human thing, love, a holy thing, to love what death has touched.

~ Yehuda Halevi (1075-1141)

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Thank you.  I have heard it is a fearful thing to love what death can touch but not the entirety.

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I was shopping on Etsy just now and came across this tote bag- made me laugh. Should be given out to all new widows: https://www.etsy.com/listing/605499186/cloth-bag-fabric-bag-tote-shopping-bag?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cloth totes&ref=sr_gallery-1-43


Disclaimer: i have no idea who the seller is. I’m not trying to sell the product. Just loved the quote! 

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