Jess Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 We have a moving date for Justin and his DD to move to Arizona so we can be one family under one roof (at least until DD heads to the dorm in the fall)- May 29th. 76 days away. I am beyond excited! This has been a long time coming and getting a date was dependent on how many snow days his DD got. Now that graduation is scheduled, we are making real, solid plans. This has felt like a really long time coming. We first figured out there was more to our friendship than just friendship in early November, 2014. He first came to visit me a month later in December to see if this was something real. It was. We offered his DD a chance to join him for a trip MLK weekend in January 2015 to meet me. She had voiced that she was worried she would end up left behind, which was an unacceptable way for her to feel. It took a while for her to decide whether she would come, but ultimately she went for it. She and I were very nervous, but we found our footing with each other quickly and it did not take me long after that trip to realize how much love I have for her. We are very blessed she kept an open mind and didn't assume her dad had gone off the deep end! On their way home from the airport on that trip, she solved our problem of how to close the gap between us when she started talking about wanting to check out Arizona colleges. Fast forwarding, she is enrolled for the fall semester at Arizona State University. Life is a strange trip. Waiting has been very hard as we both know that tomorrow is not guaranteed, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am feeling so grateful for the gift of our new family. Now to find a way to get those 76 days to pass quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I am so very excited for the three of you! I absolutely love seeing happy news like this. Congratulations, and I hope that everything about the move goes smoothly. I know it is so hard, waiting for the days to pass. Hopefully, those 76 days will just fly by and Justin and his DD will be there before you know it. (((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorGirl Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Yay! So excited for all three of you. I'm so happy that I was able to meet you both. Enjoy your new adventure. <3 Bridget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Congrats to all of you! Blessings to your new family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabzmom Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Fabulous news! So glad you will all be together soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Yay! This is wonderful news! Congratulations to all 3 of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Thank you so much, everyone! This move has definitely been in the making for quite some time, and it feels sooooo good to have a concrete date for our move. As Jess wrote, the birth of the possibility of this move being a reality all started with my daughter's suggestion that she might want to attend school in Arizona "if you and Jess get married" - made on our drive back from the airport after their first meeting with each other. Last year, when Jess downsized and moved closer to her work and parents, DD and I went with her to view the homes on the short-list. Jess made sure to include us in her decision of buying a home - we were all THAT certain that we would all be living together! There has been many decisions made by us about consolidating our households - what to keep, what to store, what goes, etc.; the listing of the house DD and I live in; sorting the logistics of the move - but they have all been steps forward to our being together as a family. And we all three truly feel that way. I so excited and optimistic to continue this journey with Jess! so now, I just have to try to calm the anticipation of waiting out these days by staying busy. And there is plenty to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Congratulations, I am so happy for all 3 of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callobg Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Awesome!! 👍👍👍👍👍 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Like, very much, and so impressed by the maturity and empathy shown by Justin's DD! Thanks for sharing such a positive update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 Like, very much, and so impressed by the maturity and empathy shown by Justin's DD! Thanks for sharing such a positive update. Me too! I have thought many times about how I would react if I was in her shoes. I'd like to think I'd be mature about it like her, but honestly I think I would have fallen short in that regard. It was important to tell her the truth about what was going on before his trip, and her initial reaction was tears. But, she is a thinker and she sat with it for a while. She made no effort to stop him from coming here. We knew we wanted to see each other again soon, but also knew that while she couldn't be allowed to call the shots, she needed to feel free to share how she felt about things and that we needed to come up with a way to make her feel as included as possible. While I don't have kids nor have I ever dated anyone with kids, I knew that if this was going to work, she had to at the very least not hate me. I had no idea we would build such a wonderful relationship, but I consider her being in my life just as big of a gift as having Justin. It was my idea to offer her to come out and visit as soon as she did and I think it surprised Justin a little. I figured if she decided she wasn't ready, she knew that she was welcome and wanted. If she wanted to come, then that was even better, despite how incredibly terrified I was. She would later tell us she was close to not coming, but decided to pretty much the week the trip was to happen. She also said she didn't want to like me, but ended up liking me anyways. She said it helped that I am nothing like her mom so she realized this was something new, not an attempt at replacing her mom. I have also been very clear with her that I have no interest in replacing her mom, that I just want to be one more person in her life that loves her, that she can count on to support her, and that is rooting for her happiness. She has gotten to know my late husband, Joe, through my stories as I have gotten to know Marsha through her stories. I know without a doubt Joe would be so happy I have Justin and and his DD and that he would have really liked them as people. Knowing that I feel that way makes her happy. She is just so incredibly special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 I totally agree, it could easily have gone a very different way. I am really happy for you and Justin...it also is a tribute to the way you both handled it. You are showing great parenting chops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 YAY! It goes without saying how happy I am for all of you! Much to celebrate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suki1 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 I'm so happy for the three of you! And thanks for telling us more about how things developed. It's encouraging to read your story. All the best to you, and keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 So happy for the both of you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 So very happy for you all!! Congrats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Congratulations ! so happy for you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I'm so happy for all of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 Just finished a 2 week visit (1 week in Kentucky and 1 week in AZ). Felt the need to remind myself on a rough day that there are now just 49 days left. Cannot wait to be done with this LDR crap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Long distance is the worst! BUT! I moved to be with my man. My advice: don't wish away these 49 days (even though it's painful and sucky to be apart when you want to be together). Being together is going to be awesome, but there is a lot to love about space, time, freedom, and solitude - perhaps only in retrospect, but.... If I had my last 49 days back, I would really savor them. I'd do everything I loved in my old home - even touristy things, I'd go to my favorite places over and over, take my favorite walks, go to that place I always passed and thought seemed interesting but never went in. I'd really really enjoy watching exactly what I felt like watching on TV, keeping strange hours if I wanted, sleeping like a giant X and taking up the whole bed, eating strange things and at strange times and in ways I would never do in front of anyone, hahahahahahaha. I'd go to my favorite brunch or dinner spot, eat alone, and have a glass of champagne and toast to myself for surviving and for the future, a goodbye to my solitude, the bad and the good. I suppose I'm talking more to myself in the past and wishing I could travel through time than to you, but maybe you can learn from my total failure to eek out every bit of goodness of the last of my time alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Thank you for your advice, Mizpah! My daughter and I are trying to spend time with friends and family more than we customarily would, because we know in all likelihood that we will never again have this much time available with them. Nor will we ever be likely be able to visit local areas with as much ease as we can now. This week and the next are my last two of full-time employment at the company where I have worked almost 12 years. I am really looking forward to being able to wake up and shape the day as I want to for the first time in I-don't-know-how-many years. I think the last time I had a true day off from any responsibility at all was in 1996 :-) There are still many hours of work left in fixing things around the house (trying to hook a buyer) and packing up, but I plan to fellowship as much as possible, re-visit old places, and visit new sites that I thought I would "get around to seeing one day". Also, taking some time to read and walk around town taking photos. I probably will get the bicycle out again, too... Jess has been very encouraging of me and DD to fully experience our lives as they are now, knowing that they are about to become radically different with us moving so far away from the land that we have grown up in and people that we know. She has been super-considerate of our feelings and has done a great job of making us feel at home in Arizona, but is well-aware that relocating will be a huge change for me and DD. At Jess's suggestion, DD has decided to stay here with her grandparents an additional 1-3 weeks after the move and then fly to AZ. This will give her time to say goodbye in a context outside of school. As an old friend used to say: "the time will pass, regardless". I am committed to making each of these remaining days here count, knowing that I can never have them back again - and being able to accept that fact with no regret for things left undone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I had it all mixed up as who was moving where - I'm sorry!!! But the same goes for anyone, and it seems you're way more on the ball about it than I was! About a week before I moved, I realized, "Wow, I'm leaving for real. This is really happening." You can't fit it all into a week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 I had it all mixed up as who was moving where - I'm sorry!!! No worries - I didn't even notice! :-) I guess I am just so used to thinking of me and Jess as "us" now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 Justin, DD & Jess, I'm so happy for all of you on the new adventure. Justin I was wondering, did you ever get over Columbus IN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 SWilson, No man, I haven't yet! That would be a great weekend trip for me and DD to make before the move. It would be fantastic to meet up with you for lunch or dinner if we can swing the trip :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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