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[Guest TooSoon]

Also, to the original poster in case you come back (and anyone else who loves to read), I just read a great book.  It's the second book in a 6-volume memoir called My Struggle by Karl Ove Knaussgaard.  He's a Norwegian writer who writes, in these volumes, about the minutiae of daily life and thought.  The second book focuses on the early days of parenthood, struggling with the need/desire for solitude and freedom and creative work, with the relentless duties/responsibilities of domesticity.  You may enjoy it.  I loved it.

 

I just read a raving review of volume 5 - when we go to England next month, I'm going to steal adp's copies of the first and second volumes.  Highly recommend The Green Road.  Loved it. 

[THATgurl]

To m

 

Totally kidding. Miss and love this community.

 

Sorry to see we are one soul down currently. Hopefully that will right itself.

 

I say this first to myself and then to those I greatly respect and admire (and sometimes want to clean the floor with) - being right is all well and good (usually) but sometimes an illusion or based on situation and circumstance.

 

In other words, timing and presentation can be m-effing everything.

 

 

[THATgurl]

I'll be right here, Mikey

[THATgurl]

I didn't see the original post so I can't comment on the appropriateness of portside's input in this particular instance.  I can, however, vouch for his character and his desire to help those on this board. There are many different ways to help people, and portside's 'tough love' approach certainly runs against the grain of much of the advice/support that you see here. And he takes a lot of heat for it - he has been publicly 'shamed' plenty of times himself because he refuses to coddle people and give mealy-mouthed 'support' for things he doesn't agree with.  And yet he is still here, shrugging off the insults and continuing to help people the only way he knows how to. And I'm thankful for it, because his blunt advice has helped me many times, even if it stung initially.  Because he cares. Which is what matters.

 

The day people give a mealy mouthed shit about the person they are talking to rather than themselves, call me that day and I might weep for the likes of. Luvs ya!

 

*to cover my arse, #blessed

[Tatianakm]

 

 

There are ages and stages that parenting feels like a job, the hardest job.  There are also times it feels like a joy and a privilege.  I can only imagine when a child is brought into the world at a time that coincides with one parents painful deterioration and death, that it complicates the bonding process for the surviving parent.  How can you look back fondly on those early years of their life when they bring back memories of the painful caregiving you were providing for your spouse?

 

Sometimes we have to "fake it until we make it" while we find our way. 

 

:'( :'(  :'( thank you for validating everything I feel at the moment; this is why I continue to come back- supportive and kind messages like this one.

[Sugarbell]

I missed the OP...But I do remember my first year widowed thinking numerous times "My kids would be better off with a 2 parent family...I even checked into the likelihood of siblings staying together and realized with a baby...and all of them under 5..the odds were very good they would get a great family that would take them all.

 

It's embarrassing typing this out now...because anyone who knows me IRL thinks I am "Wonder Mom" but grief, shock...overwhelming stress can make a person break. This does need to be a safe place for us to expose our deepest thoughts that others IRL can't get.

 

Thank God I didn't verbalized me wanting to give up my kids that first year on the board. Harsh responses would have sent over the edge.

 

(((( Hugs ALD...))))