Ruth Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 I'm having a really hard day today, after several days of struggling badly already. At the moment I'm making some really hard and painful decisions and the emotional turmoil is getting too much. Right now I just miss Michael even more. I wish he could hold me for a minute, so I could feel safe, even if it's just for one moment. I feel so alone and heartbroken in all this. I'm sorry... Ruth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 (((((((HUGS)))))))) Please don't be sorry. I've been struggling lately as well, and I've been too cowardly to post. I hate that I'm so lonely and miserable, no matter what I try to do. I need change, but I can't even figure out what I want, let alone how to get it. Nothing helps, and I'm ready to just quit... everything. :-\ I'm sorry you're dealing with hard decisions. I'm tired of always being "where the buck stops." It's not fair that everything falls on our shoulders. I would given just about anything to feel safe and loved again, just for a little while... I don't think I'm helping much, but I'm here and I can listen. I don't want to say I know how you feel, but I bet I come close. more hugs, Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 Ruth, Do not apologize! And of course you can ask us for support! That is what we're here for...and we get it! This is all so difficult and I'm sorry you're struggling. Sending your virtual {{hugs}}. Same to you too, Jen! I hear ya about being cowardly. I try to keep it all together as well but sometimes the loneliness gets too be too much. I'm glad you posted and more virtual {{hugs}} for you too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alemja Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 ((((((((Huge, Huge hugs Ruth)))))))))) Hold on, this horribly rough patch will pass, take a deep breath and just keep holding on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I'm glad to offer my support, Ruth. That is what we are here for. I totally get wanting just a few minutes of that security we used to get from being held close by our loves. It was so beautifully powerful and allowed us to rest our minds. I miss it so much. Sending you tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 No reason to apologize Ruth we all get it and are here to support and let you know you are not alone in these feelings this is all so hard and I am sorry you are having a hard day take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Adding my support, we all get those extra tough days. Being faced with difficult decisions without our partner by our side can be very triggering. Wishing you brighter days ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted September 5, 2016 Author Share Posted September 5, 2016 I'm a bit overwhelmed by all your kind responses - thank you! Jen, I'm so sorry you're struggling as well ((hugs)) Jean, thank you for your support and saying it's ok to ask ((hugs)) Alemja, thank you, sometimes it's hard to remember to *breathe*! ((hugs)) SoVerySad, yes it was really powerful ((hugs)) Donswife, thank you for reassuring me I'm not the only one ((hugs)) if ok Trying, I appreciate you reminding me this is normal ((hugs)) if ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilRain Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Ruth, newbie here but I wanted to give you some support as well. I hope today is better than yesterday. All we can do is get through it one day at a time and there will be bad days and better days (can't say I've had a truly 'good' day yet). I know nothing can replace being held by your beloved Michael, but I hope cyber ((((((hugs)))))) and understanding from a stranger can provide at least a small amount of comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted September 5, 2016 Author Share Posted September 5, 2016 Thank you April, yes virtual hugs and understanding from a stranger does give some comfort. And welcome to the forum, although I'm so sorry you belong here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geminigirl Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Another newbie here, I'm only 3 1/2 months in so I don't have any words of wisdom but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug since you were so kind to offer me support on my thread. It just sucks, that's the best I can come up with but we're all here for support. It's not much but it's something. Big (((hugs))) to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted September 9, 2016 Share Posted September 9, 2016 Support given. If does help to discuss our problems with people like us. That get it. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amor Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Wishing you peace. One wise person here once posted grie is like waves sometimes they are small and sometimes they knock you off your feet. Wishing you peace. Amor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Sorry for being late... Geminigirl, thank you for the hugs ((hug)) Needytoo, ty for your support and hugs ((hug)) Amor, ty for the wishes, and yes, it is like waves indeed I'm still struggling, as the finalizing of the decision still has to be done, but I'm doing a bit better. It's just hard, all of this, and sometimes I just don't wanna do it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I hope you are doing okay today. I hope you can work on making decisions. I felt making decisions, even though as hard as they may be, helped me feel a little bit better as if I accomplished something. It's like clearing a few hurdles though you know you have a long race to still run. I totally relate just not wanting to do things sometimes. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 Thank you Julester. To be honest, I'm having a really hard day. I have made the decision and am now trying to stick to it, but it's a struggle. A struggle I, yet again, wish I didn't have to face alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amor Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Ruth, I hope you can have peace with decision you had to make. Yes, we have to make so many decision alone now. Wishing for comfort and peace during this painful time in your life. Amor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yell120910 Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 My huge cyber ((( HUG ))) Ruth! It's been a while since my last visit to this site, and I am feeling the same way. This forum reminds us that we are not alone. I feel you Ruth -- how heavy to carry all the challenges on our shoulders without our love one; the feeling of alone and lonely; and the need to be embraced to give us rest even for a little while... Again, my HUGS for you dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted September 29, 2016 Author Share Posted September 29, 2016 Amor, yes, in most ways I have peace with it. Thank you for the wishes. Yell, thank you for the hugs and HUGS to you as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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