7 years, not forgotten....

[Wheelerswife]

I’m sitting here in a home you never knew, in a part of the country you never saw.  I’ve practically lived another lifetime since you were here.  Yet I think of you so often.  I see your picture every day.  I keep the engraved river stone that I placed on your grave after you died - on a table in my home office. 

 

Every year at this time, my body knows what time of year it is.  It is close to the early morning hours of September 22, 2016, seven years to the day that I last spoke to you and you spoke to me…seven years since you breathed your last breath.  I woke up this past morning in a startle…sat bolt upright…as if I was responding to the alarms of your monitors.  I remember waking up that morning at your hospital bedside seven years ago and realizing you were confused.  My hopes that you would pull out of this setback were dashed.  It was all too real.  I was losing you.  We only had one more full day.  My heart was broken.  On your last day, you stayed alert for a little while before you slipped back into a deep sleep, and hours later, you slipped away.  It was on the equinox, no less. 

 

I started seeing the seasons more vividly after you died.  Here in Kansas, there isn’t much of a fall, though, at least compared to New England.  It was hot today, close to 100.  You would have loved it, and had you been here, you would have basked in the sunlight in the back yard.  I’m glad to have good memories…thinking of things you enjoyed. I came across a couple of our early pictures and I smiled…were we ever that young?  You were skinny…really skinny…before I fattened you up to 90 pounds.  I got to remember our trips…Yosemite, San Francisco, Disney, all over the Caribbean.  I remembered summer picnics with my old work gang and holidays with your family.  Good times.  Most of our life together was really wonderful, although I know it just got harder for you.  SMA took so much from you, but it never took your heart.

 

I miss you, Barry.  I miss you.

 

Love,

 

Maureen

 

[mmg19]

((HUGS))

[SimiRed]

(((Hugs))) 7 years, Wow....how'd that happen? 

[WifeLess]

Maureen,

 

Wishing you the happiest of your memories with Barry as you pass your 7 year point.

 

--- WifeLess

[Catnip]

Peace to you Maureen,

~Carol

[twin_mom]

That's such a beautiful tribute.  *hugs*

[trying2breathe]

Beautiful Maureen ~  (((hugs))) 

[Euf]

(((Maureen)) It's just never easy is it?  But if it was easy, I guess it would mean we didn't love them so much. I'd rather have loved and hurt.

[Callobg]

Hugs to you Ma'am.

[Guest TooSoon]

Sending still more hugs across the wires.  xoxo

[MauiMermaid]

So beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. {{{HUGS}}} Maureen

[pms1954]

I'm coming up on 7 years in Dec. I guess I expect it to not be so hard every year, but it doesn't. For some reason this year is particular hard. I'm not sure why. I just miss him so much. My heart hurts. I don't know how I can be in so much pain and no one seems to notice.

[Quixote]

That was beautiful. 

 

Most of our life together was really wonderful, although I know it just got harder for you.

 

Yeah   I think all of us who had spouses with chronic illness get that.