Going off Antidepressants, what is your experience?

[Max2507]

I am at about 3 1/2 years out. 18 months out I just wasn't functioning, couldn't get out of bed in the morning, didn't care about showering, filled with dread and paralysis at the same time. It took at least a month just to get myself to make an appt to get antidepressants.

 

They helped a lot! Kind of took the edge off, quelled the inner chaos, I was able to get things done, and I noticed my long standing nervous habits like picking at my cuticles and teeth grinding had gone almost away as well as I had always been an easy cryer and I could still cry but not at every touching ad on tv or song on the radio that reminded me of my husband.

 

After being on them 18 months I weaned myself off and have been off maybe 6 weeks. I was at a point where I almost felt like I should maybe get a higher dose and just commit to being on for life or go off. My doctor closed her close to me office and it would mean making an appt and driving 40 mins each way when i currently work 60 hours a week and don't have time for that. Probably not the best reason to go off antidepressants. I had originally planned on using them 6-9 months, then it was holiday time and that didn't seem like a great time to go off so I stayed on until they would no longer refill them without seeing the dr.

 

I am feeling very grouchy. I notice my cuticles are suffering and I seem to be grinding my teeth again. I feel a bit scattered. I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. I am debating if I should just get a new dr, go back on them or what? How long do you wait to be sure your body has adjusted to not being on them? If you went back on them, did the same dose work?

[daysofelijah]

I've been on and off antidepressants since I was 16 (40 now). I fine for a while I feel fine but it's always only a matter of time before I have to go back on them again. I've been on them for about 5 years now without a break and don't think I will be able to take a break anytime soon.

 

So no good advice I guess, but I understand how you feel. I don't like always being on meds, but to function and get through life without constant emotional breakdowns I guess I need them. I had taken zoloft for many years, but switched to wellbutrin to help with the apathy and it works better for me. 

[Guest TooSoon]

I weaned myself off of a low dose of Lexapro about 18 months after my husband's death (so I was on it about 3 years total) and, incredibly, I also did it because the doctor wouldn't refill it unless I went in and did a ton of bloodwork.  Lexapro made me not feel.  I couldn't feel anything, which was good, let's say, two weeks after learning your husband is going to die or after he has brain surgery, but isn't so good when you're trying to grieve and move forward. 

 

At first, I wasn't used to feeling feelings but over time things leveled out, though I still have the capacity for a periodic meltdown but I attribute those to things other than not being on medication, like hormones or extreme stress. 

 

But I also wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with staying on the medication if you feel you need it.

 

Not sure this in any way helps but there you have it.   

[Guest nonesuch]

I've wrestled with depression for about 40 years.  I've cycled on and off meds for about the last 20.  I thought the on-again, off-again cycle of my depression was odd, but from what I've read recently, it's actually quite common. I feel no guilt in going on and off anti-depressants.  My doctors over the years have been conservative in the dosages.  The first time i mentioned going off the depressants, (maybe a tad early) the nurse practitioner actually said relying only on counseling and my new coping skills was "an over-rated concept."

 

I know some people dislike being on any medication, and in fact, Current Beau frankly doesn't "get" what it's like, and finds it puzzling that I don't mind taking meds. For me, the depression isn't situational, it kind of has a mind of it's own.  Kind of.  Last time I tried to tough it out, I went nine months without a full night's sleep.  I had a car accident that could have, should have been fatal. It was my fault entirely, and it happened because I was exhausted.

 

This last round, I was put n Trazadone.  It's wonderful.  The nurse practitioner's goal was to get me sleeping through the night, and it does do that.  I'm thinking about asking for an increase in the dose, because I can still tell there's something *not quite firing on all cylinders* in my head.

 

Yep, I'll take the chemicals rather than being T-boned any day.

 

 

[Sugarbell]

Totally depends on which one you were on...Some are easier to come off of than others (half life, dosage, steady state).. the are all different. And big difference whether it's an SSRI, SNRI or TCA (like trazadone).

 

I would get a medical dictionary online and read up on it. Nothing wrong if you need back on them....some are very hard if not physically tough or impossible to come off of. Also other meds you maybe taking can effect how you do off of them. How much, how often did you take them (one a day twice a day..tiny dose, max dose)

 

Just remember your brain is now adjusting to making its own feel good chemicals...that the meds were helping your brain make. It's pretty tricky stuff.

 

Sometimes meds can safe lives...other times it can be a nightmare getting off of them.

Lots of factors involved

[Max2507]

Thanks for your responses. They didn't make me feel nothing as what some people have described. I guess it took the extremes out and gave me a touch of serene that I am missing now. I think to myself if it was for high blood pressure I would't just stop taking it, because then your blood pressure would go out of control. I will keep monitoring things and see. Hormones are definitely a problem to and they help a lot with PMS. I know I am doing better than I was, I think I will give it a little more time and in the mean time start looking for a new doctor.

[Guest nonesuch]

I never sought treatment for PMS, although the people around me would have benefited greatly if I had.  :

[SieOma]

Ideally, you would have had a plan to come off the antidepressant, so that your nervous habits wouldn't simply resume as if they had been paused, and that's sort of what is happening to you. If you can find ways to break those habits and to quiet your inner chaos on your own, it is definitely worth making an effort to do so before going back on the antidepressant. In your case, if you think of depression and an antidepressant as a badly broken arm and a cast, then you understand the antidepressant (the cast) holds things together so time can work on those bones to heal, but when the cast comes off, you have to learn to use that arm again. I say all that to say be patient with yourself and while you are off them, see if you can handle things without them, but understand you will have to make an effort to learn how.

 

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I've lived with it on and off (and on and off) medication for a long time now, so understand that I'm not coming from a place of ignorance. I'm just offering something to consider based on my own experience.

[SemperFidelis]

Ideally, you would have had a plan to come off the antidepressant, so that your nervous habits wouldn't simply resume as if they had been paused, and that's sort of what is happening to you. If you can find ways to break those habits and to quiet your inner chaos on your own, it is definitely worth making an effort to do so before going back on the antidepressant. In your case, if you think of depression and an antidepressant as a badly broken arm and a cast, then you understand the antidepressant (the cast) holds things together so time can work on those bones to heal, but when the cast comes off, you have to learn to use that arm again. I say all that to say be patient with yourself and while you are off them, see if you can handle things without them, but understand you will have to make an effort to learn how.

 

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I've lived with it on and off (and on and off) medication for a long time now, so understand that I'm not coming from a place of ignorance. I'm just offering something to consider based on my own experience.

 

Really well said.

[Quixote]

I weaned off Wellbutrin over the course of six months, roughly two years after losing my wife.  There were a couple of times the doctor stopped the weaning process because of symptom issues.  Overall, fairly smooth transition off, though.  Dealing with unblunted grief was suddenly difficult, though. It probably took me two more years before I truly could consider myself fully functional.

 

Short answer--  nothing wrong with staying on anti-depressants, but if you want to come off them, be prepared for the rush of emotion.  Like SemperFi says, have a plan to deal with the nervous habits.  Try to think of productive (or at least not damaging) things you can do as replacement activities.  Exercise helps me, at least during the daytime.  Anytime I move, it helps pull my brain away from a literal deathspiral.  If you can't summon the energy to move, though, try to figure something else--  pet the dog, maybe even watch silly YouTube videos.

 

Hang in there.

 

 

[hinatyde]

Hi Max. I feel like I am in the same situation. I am currently on Lexapro and have been taking it since last December. I don't know that much about how anti-depressants are supposed to be used. I feel a lot better now that I've been on this medication but am afraid to go back to how I was. I havnt seen my doctor since I started this medication but I will be asking her how to wean off or if I really should yet. I remember I went about 2-3 days without taking it a couple months ago and felt so so depressed because of it.