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keeptrying

Realizing after two years, the hurt doesn't go away

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Out of the blue, after two years, I realized the day he killed himself was the same exact day he asked me to marry him so many years before.

I don't even know what to think about that. I miss him every second of the day. I just feel so lost without him.

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I lurked here a while after joining. I think this is is the third time i read all your posts. That is a major hit you just took. I can't imagine how you feel, I just want to tell you there is no way on earth he knew/thought about that when he made that decision. Hugs

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keeptrying,

 

Having met, both online and in person, a number of other survivors of their spouses' suicides, I have learned that our path towards healing can be a very long and treacherous one. Often, the pain subsides, but as you say, never goes away completely. Sorry for this difficult road you must travel.

 

--- WifeLess

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(((HUGS))) I think a part of our brains will always continue to work on solving the puzzle of making sense out of the senseless.  I can be having a great time out with friends and suddenly my brain digs up something like that and I'm frozen in horror while trying to keep a smile on my face.  The only way I've been able to put these things "away" has been through journaling.  It gives me peace for a while until my brain goes on autopilot again.

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Huge hugs to you. When you start thinking you try to connect points. My wife had medical injury a day before we meet 20 years back and then I was told by Doctors that she is brain dead on my birthday when I was expecting her life as gift from god. More we think more this kind of connections we make. Sorry for you loss.

 

MR

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