Remembering my sweet husband

[Wheelerswife]

It is the evening of January 10th.  It was about this time three years ago that I last spoke to my husband on a video chat.  He seemed perfectly fine.  He had spent the day cleaning his office at work, and it was spotless…something unusual for the scientist that he was.  He was sitting in his favorite chair in the living room.  I asked him to take his hair out of his ponytail so I could pretend to run my hands through his hair.  It was a simple little thing between two lovers.  Eventually, we blew each other kisses, expressed our love for each other, and signed off for the night.  He eventually went to bed and never woke up.

 

I was decluttering in my home office today and I came across a handwritten note from John dated 6/18/13, about 7 months before he died.  That day, I was at a community college a couple of hours from our home attending a conference.  John was there only the first and last days of the conference, and we had spent the night together in a college dormitory.  I left to attend a session, and he left just a few minutes later to drive home, but took the time to leave me a note:

 

“To Maureen-

I love you so much, sweetheart, that there aren’t words to describe it…I miss you already and I wish I could hold you awhile.  At least we were able to sleep in each other’s arms last night.  I hope the rest of the week is a good experience, and I will be very eager to see you again Friday evening.

 

Love, John”

 

I hadn’t thought about that night at in quite a long time, but it showcases the depth of intimacy we had together.  If anyone remembers what college dorms are like, there are usually two twin beds with uncomfortable mattresses.  That night, we slept on one of those beds together, as we craved the solace of each other’s embrace so much.  John was a big man…close to 6’5” tall, and I am not small, so there was precious little room on that bed for us, but it was well worth the stiff joints we had upon awakening…just to be able to be together.

 

In just a few hours, he will have been gone for three years.  I miss him terribly, but I am coming to a place where I can breathe again and begin to live more fully.  It hurts…and it always will hurt, but I have been loved by the best…and for that, I am so grateful

 

Maureen

 

 

 

[Julester3]

Thanks Maureen for sharing your memory. Hugs for you today. It did make me smile because my husband and I dated through college and I would visit him once in the middle of the semester and at the end to pick him up to take him home. Yes, I do have fond dorm room bed memories too. I was thankful he switched to an apartment and queen sized bed junior year. I'm 5'5" but he was a tall guy at 6'2".

[Trying]

Thanks for sharing your beautiful memory.  Big hugs to you today and always.

[donswife]

Hugs to you today, Maureen

thank you for sharing that memory

what a gift to have found that hand written

Take care 

 

[Catnip]

Peace to you Maureen,

Love,

~Catnip