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Me and my husband had this thing going where, Everytime we crossed paths with something in nature, we would get it tattooed. I have gotten a few things tattooed but haven't gotten everything. The biggest significance for me and him were butterflies. Never failed, Everytime we were together, we had butterflies around us.

 

I may continue the tradition we had. It could be a positive.

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I got a memorial tattoo after my husband died, about 3 months after. I never felt the need to before then but was never against it. Now I always have him with me in our own mutual way that most people wouldn't understand. They don't need to as it's mine alone. I intend to get another when I can make the time.

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I want a memorial tattoo as well. I would like to get a suicide prevention ribbon but I'm always coming across other things I think he would have liked. I'm so indecisive. I'm thinking it may come to me eventually. I just hope it doesn't take long!

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I got a memorial tattoo after my husband died, about 3 months after.

 

I did too. You're right...people don't understand, but I really don't need them too either.

 

Do what you feel is right for you....and don't worry about what another soul thinks of it!

 

MB

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I also got a memorial tattoo about a month after he died. I don't regret it at all.

A few months ago I also got a Phoenix tattoo on my thigh. I kind of like the story of rising from the ashes to become stronger as I feel that is exactly what all widows/widowers do.

I say it's your body and to hell with what people think if it is something you want to do, do it! I'm working on designs for my 7th tattoo right now :)

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I got a memorial tattoo on my upper right arm about a year after he died. It's a bear, holding onto a tree, drawn in such a way that it also looks like it's holding my arm. On the inside of my arm is a note from him. My boyfriend loves it, in fact he commented on it when he first messaged me (we met online).

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I got a memorial tattoo about 8 months after S died.  I can't explain it - nor do I need to - but I felt a lessening of my grief from it.  I don't know if it's because I have a visible reminder so I know I will never forget (like I ever would but that does seem to be a thing I worried about in some part of my brain).  It's on my wrist.  I love it and I love that I see it all the time.  Even though I am 46, an accountant and a University teacher, nobody has offered a negative opinion.  I thought in those peer groups there might be a few of them.  Honestly, I think tattoos are becoming so common and visible, it's a non issue. 

 

I do call it my "gateway" tattoo as I now have some ideas for another one....ok maybe two.....three?  Oh boy. :)

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I kind of like the story of rising from the ashes to become stronger as I feel that is exactly what all widows/widowers do.

 

Funny that you should say this about the Phoenix, as my CD that I am working on (1 of two actually) is called "The Phoenix" for the same reason :)

 

You folks amaze me and I am so lucky to have people who understand to speak to!

 

MB

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  • 4 months later...
  • 1 year later...

This is such an old thread, but anyway. I got a few tattoos to memorialize my late husband and our family. They are simple and beautiful and I love them.

 

10 years ago, we got each other’s initials on our ring fingers. It feels awkward especially since I wear my wedding band on the other hand now, but I figure if love ever finds me again, if it bothers him, he can get me a large diamond to cover it up lol.

 

Trigger for domestic violence 

 

one thing I want to do is cover some scars he left me when he got so bad into coke and alcohol and beat me up right before I sent him away to rehab. I had a beautiful back, and now it has forensic scars on it, in the shape of the objects he hit me with. I am reclaiming my body by covering them up. They make me sad and angry. I thought they would fade but it’s been over 18 months so... when I tattoo them I will have changed the narrative.

 

it was a complicated love, but it was real. Til death did us part. That man was my family. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. My other tattoos reflect that eternal love.

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