Decisions decisions

[MrsDan]

I made a big decision today. I quit my job for another one. I hope it will be better. But I had to take a pay cut. And now I am freaking out about the finances. Two years ago I quit my job to take this one. I moved to another state. And while the job hasn't been what I expected, I am completely glad I made the move. It's been good for me; I don't think I would have started dating, and I certainly wouldn't have met my wonderful boyfriend. I'm trying t o remind myself that that was a huge risk too. I was quitting a job where I had worked for eight years and had a tremendous amount of support.

 

But this is another risk, a huge one because some of it involves stuff I have little experience in (as does my present job). And it's in an area that has had  lot of struggles. That creates a tremendous opportunity for the type of work I'd be doing. It will take me into an area within my field that is hard to break into, and I might not have the opportunity to do so again. So it could potentially lead to more opportunities. But the pay. I haven't been great about money the past few years. I'd initially turned it down, but I did counter offer and they came back with something that is closer to realistic for me. But now I'm not sure it's close enough.

 

It is really, really overwhelming being the sole person responsible for my child, our dogs, and our household. My boyfriend is a source of tremendous emotional support, but our lives are not fully integrated. Because of circumstances surrounding each of our children, we've tried to tread carefully on that. We are in a serious relationship, but it is relatively new (year and some months) and we are not married. He can support my decision. But we're not making it together. I still feel very alone.

 

I'm the grown up, the head of the household. I know I've gotten through and managed a lot. But the stakes are so high. And I'm really just afraid.

[cathyr]

I admire that you took the risk, especially when it's scary to do it alone!  While we know nothing in this life is certain, you would always probably wonder "what if" if you hadn't taken this chance.  I really wish the best for you and hope this job move ends up being fulfilling, both emotionally and financially. 

[Trying]

MrsDan I definitely understand how scary it is to make these major decisions alone while being the "one and only" in charge of so much.  It sounds like an exciting new opportunity, I wish you the best!  You've got this, you will handle this like you have all of the other challenges you've faced, head on, despite the fears.

[Mizpah]

I can really relate - I took a huge paycut about three years ago (also, making a giant life decision/move in a decision I was forced to make alone).  It's been rough, but I believe it's opened (more lucrative) opportunities that seem about to come to fruition, by expanding/diversifying my "skill set," or whatever we call these things professionally.  It sounds like you've thought a lot about this and made the decision for good reasons.  Awesome things are scary things at first.  I always chant in my head: "Money's just a number."  Sometimes it helps me feel better - sometimes it doesn't.  Borrow my mantra     We're all rooting for you!

[trying2breathe]

Some wise words here posted by others      Best wishes on your new endeavors!

[MrsDan]

Thank you all. I was telling my boyfriend last night how anxious I am, thinking of all these things that are making me second guess my decision. And he said that while it's totally understandable to feel that way, I sound a lot calmer now than I did before. It's not hurting things that this week has been difficult at work, making me feel like my decision is constantly getting validated.

[tybec]

Hang in there, MrsDan.  I also understand.  I quit my 19 yr. career one year from hitting my 20 to work part time and start private practice.  A significant pay cut and benefits, but I would not change my opportunity.  The risk was worth it, and I am not the career minded woman I was which was far from balanced with rearing my child, my marriage to DH and taking care of my elderly mother.  You know I am one year in a relationship, and I never would have met him had I not stopped the madness of my career.  I am older than you and spent my 30s working my tail off and did gain a lot from it, but lost a lot, too, time mostly with my family. 

 

It will work out.  It will get figured out.  Although you and NG are not comingling it all yet, he is supportive and that means a lot. I am getting ready to take a similar plunge with NG, moving, and will change my work again, but I know it will be scary.  But the anxiety!!!  When I quit my career job, I had racing heart issues.  Ended up wearing a heart monitor for two weeks.  Thankfully, not my heart, just anxiety.  I have learned to work through that, now, too.  I have learned to be in private practice, a whole other ballgame, but the skills are so good to have.

 

You can take the risk.  You won't fail.  You will learn from it and be stronger.  WE have been through far worse, my Mantra.