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Facing my mother in law


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I know from reading other people's posts that I'm not the only person who has had a strained relationship with their mother in law since their husband passed away. I won't bore you with the details but I have prided myself on the fact that I have been as respectful as I could possibly be despite the strain that there has been between us. Over time it became very clear that the two of us were not going to be able to have a strong intimate relationship going forward.

 

To be truthful, I hadn't seen my mother-in-law in person since the day of the funeral which was a true Gong Show to say the least. Today I had to face or for the first time in 10 and a half months. Sadly one of my husband's uncles passed away suddenly. A man who had been very kind to me even after my husband died and still treated me like I was part of the family. His wife felt the same way was adamant that I be there for the celebration of life. It was terrifying walking into that place and see my mother-in-law. She wouldn't even look at me at first and my husband's brothers and niece also were very cold and wouldn't really talk to me. I wasn't all that surprised. They had to stand by their mother even if her anger was in some ways not justified. It's all perspective.

 

It's still hurt all the same because this is my husband's family. My mother-in-law finally cornered me at one point and simply said to me 'I hope you have a good life and I really mean it'. I wished her the same. It went better than I thought it would but it still wasn't fun. It was great to see the family I cared for and knew cared for me but sitting close to people that hate you for being you is remenicant of highschool. None of this is fun.

 

What I wouldn't do for my husband to stand next to me and hold my hand and reassure me everything's going to be okay. Sometimes you don't get what you want. 😢

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