That one year mark.

[KrypticKat]

Friday it'll be one year since my life was turned on its head. It's really hard to believe I haven't spoken to my husband for that long. I swear I just saw him. I've come a long way but I know my complicated grief is far from over. This week is really hard. My sleep is bad again and my emotional control is falling apart. Just trying to breathe. It does get better even it still sucks.

[Julester3]

I too found anxiety riddled me the week leading up to the 1 year anniversary. Hugs to you as the time approaches.

[Trying]

I was a mess leading up to the one year anniversary, it's the last of all of the "firsts".  Be gentle with yourself and don't expect too much of yourself during this time.  Remind yourself that you have survived worse days, the worst! and you will survive this one too. 

Time is a tricky thing, the hours can go so slowly but the year is over so fast.

[MR]

I am a month away from that day but already thinking of how to make that week busy hell so that less time to think. Really liked your line Trying

 

Time is a tricky thing, the hours can go so slowly but the year is over so fast.

[BrokenHeart2]

Yes sometimes the anxiety leading up to the day can be worse than the actual day.  I remember it being a really tough one for me too.  Be gentle with yourself right now KK and don't put any additional pressure on yourself.

Hugs to you.

[KrypticKat]

Thanks everyone. I made it through. My friends took me away rafting for a few days. Being out on the water and active was therapeutic. For the most part it felt like I just ran a really shitty lap. I could actually recall what happened one year ago each day following the anniversary. (This day I went to the hospital, this day I went to the police, this day I went to the funeral home). I felt nauseated everyday. Early on I couldn't have told you what I did five minutes ago but I guess I was keeping track in the back ground.  I hope those aweful memories will fade one day and I just keep the happy ones of him.