Jdubb Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 Hi everyone, ive been lurking the last few weeks, just now getting around to telling my story. My wife and I have been married since 2003, hasnt always been great, but we've stayed together through everything. She was diagnosed with heart failure in 2013, she kept on working despite being in some pain and being short of breath sometimes. She had a pacemaker put in a few years later. Was having alot of chest pains, dizzyness, but she wanted to keep going in her career and not sit back on disability. I know she hurt alot more than she let on. It was really tough on everyone. She got offered a management position 3 states away, and took the job, kind of flying back and forth to see each other. We celebrated our 14th anniversary in mid October. Spent some time in Tucson and Tombstone Arizona. We enjoyed seeing her with a title at work, the vest and a crew working under her. On October 26th, she was supposed to be at work at 4pm, my 18 year old stepson was staying there, says she was dressed for work and left around 2pm. She never showed up for work, never called in. Was found in her car fully engulfed in flames at 10pm that night less than a block from the apartment. In a parking lot or something. They still wont give me all the details. They say her phone was turned off some time before hand. She was concious when paramedics got her out of car, said somebody tried to carjack her, had a light knife wound to leg. She fought through surgeries and skin grafts for the next 2 and a half weeks, then passed away from complications from the heart failure and injuries. She was burned over 50% of her body. She says she was doused in an accellerant and lit, before they put her under heavy medication for the injuries, and put in feeding tube and ventilator. Nobody saw anything, or if they did, the police wont say. There is nothing on the news about it in the local media, they arent looking for witnesses.... I had them look into a few things, she wasnt paying on the apartment, it was in eviction mode, i had detectives look into her gambling habits, they say she would get paid on a prepaid debit card, be at the casino waiting for it to get loaded with her paycheck, then basically put the entire thing in a slot machine, and be down 900 dollars by morning. I knew she had some gambling issues, and was always broke for the last 3 or 4 years, but that was a surprise to me. She also left my stepson the apartment key and gate key for the complex on that day. I found that unusual. There are alot of things that make me think suicide, but I may never know for sure. She had a 9mm gun, but we found out she had pawned it. She made calls to the pawn shop that day (maybe to try and get it back) but she also called the DMV?? Nothing about it makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdubb Posted December 9, 2017 Author Share Posted December 9, 2017 Strangest thing. The night this happened, I had a dream, she was with me at work and telling me that she had wrecked the car (it was my car) as if she was apologizing for what happened. That night my stepson called and woke me up at 3am, and told me what the detectives were telling us, she was attacked near the apartment...... was in burn center in phoenix...... thats all the info they would tell us until much later the next day. I remembered the dream later that day, and it started to make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I am so sorry you are here with us. I hope reading through has helped you in any way process or understanding your feelings. The circumstances sound very shocking but I do believe if there is an investigation underway, then that is why everything is quiet and they can't disclose anything to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I’m so sorry you are having to cope with all of these confusing circumstances on top of the loss of your wife. Not everyone feels that they can expose their own demons, I suppose? I know that I would want answers, too. In the meantime, I hope you can find support and people who will listen to your story. We are here and can handle it all. Peace, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdubb Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 I am so sorry you are here with us. I hope reading through has helped you in any way process or understanding your feelings. The circumstances sound very shocking but I do believe if there is an investigation underway, then that is why everything is quiet and they can't disclose anything to you. I just wonder if the investigation will ever be completed. I feel like they have absolutely nothing to prove what actually happened, any evidence burned. I've pretty much come to just accept that it happened, and I may never know for sure, just have to go with what I feel happened in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 So sorry for the loss of your wife and all the unanswered questions. May you find some answers eventually. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdubb Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 I have found alot of support in reading this forum. So rare to find understanding in what we are all dealing with. Some of the stories and feelings, feels like something i would have written myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 So sorry for your loss. That is a beauty of this group that we understand and support each other. I hope you find some peace soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 I am very sorry for your loss and the many unanswered questions the circumstances leave you with. I hope you find the support here that I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 So very sorry for your loss. This has been a place of great support for me and I hope that you find it's the same for you. Peace to you in the days ahead - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdubb Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 I finally get to follow up on this post. The detective on the case called me the other day, they had some surveillance videos from the scene that he was working on getting enhanced. They showed she was alone, nobody around, nobody running away, so at this point they are closing the case and ruling it a suicide. It is what I have been expecting. I kind of knew, but its good to actually know for sure, I didnt think I ever would. As for me, Im doing ok, I guess. The shock is just now wearing off, and the loneliness is setting in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 Hugs to you. It is hard knowing, but perhaps harder not knowing. Reality does set in and somehow, we do have to figure out how to live this changed life. One day at a time. Your life with your wife will always be a part of you, but it will not always define your life as it does now. Best wishes as you figure out where things go from here. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 You don't have to like the answer of the investigation necessarily but an actual answer is better because you don't have to wonder and you can try to find closure. Hugs for you today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now