Trying Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Watching this show last night after the super bowl was a bad idea, it brought the pain of 4 1/2 years ago right back. I cried all night and am a big puffy mess this morning. We always had a big Super Bowl party. So little in my life is the same as it was back then and for the most part I have accepted that but last night I really missed him and I missed us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leadfeather Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Yup. All these folks are watching it and commenting on FB, and I am like, "been there , get it." Made me remember telling my son his dad had died. I had not thought of that memory in several years. It is all in the brain, somewhere. I saw how the mom had her rituals for the day, and I was like, "Spot on." Folks will get it someday, likely, but it is real for many of us. Hope all are faring well with it all. I spent the night watching the Superbowl with NG with his group of friends. DH and I always had a party and then went to parties. We had one the last time Justin Timberlake was on, actually. My old group posted FB pics. It is just so strange in so many ways; surreal doesn't quite touch it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I have avoided this show as I've heard it's very emotional. I'm sorry yesterday/now is tough...We can move on but it's so hard to miss the past sometimes. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 His birthday is this week also and I think even though I didn’t realize it was weighing on me, it is adding to my extra emotional state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toosoon2.0 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Sneaky, isn't it, this grief thing? I guess I've learned to accept that a meltdown here and there is going to happen, often when I'm least expecting it. I got mine out of the way during the first half of the Superbowl.....This journey is a long one. Hugs, friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I had stopped watching that show awhile ago , was sad to watch when I knew her husband had died But it some how popped up on my face book .. the actual scene in the hospital Stupid me clicked on and the tears flowed Hugs to you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Big fan of This Is Us, waited to watch this episode as I didn't want to go through it with BF at my side. Saw it last night, this opened up some emotions that I shut down the night he died and I hadn't opened up much since. I was a crying mess too - some things are so difficult to revisit and this brought on some of the darkest days grief that I tend to tuck away on a shelf. Big big hugs Trying edited to add - Is anybody planning to watch tonight? Supposed to another emotional episode .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I hate grief porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 My dh would tell me I had crybaby shows, ones that I just would cry and that was it. Well this is my new one. But a whole new experience peering out from my own. I am sorry it is so difficult for so many. I weep but then I know that is okay. I loved and loved well. The fact that a tv show can somehow show a little of that humanness is ok for me. I would not watch it if it triggers trauma reactions. Or you just don’t need that in your life. We all are so different in this journey, yes? I am sorry it hurts so deeply, trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I really love this show. Yes, there are some very tough, very real moments, but it’s just such a beautifully done show (that touches on other important stuff besides grief); so I soldier through those harder bits. Sometimes watching stuff like this can give me a really good cry that I didn’t even know I needed and can release the built-up pressure inside- free therapy! Generally speaking- I had NO IDEA just how prevalent young widowhood was in movies and TV shows until it happened to me. It’s kind of turned into a joke now with me and my bf- when one shows up in whatever we’re watching; ‘yup, there they are!’ Sorry it hit you so hard, the lead-up to the birthday anniversary is always a hard one for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted February 7, 2018 Author Share Posted February 7, 2018 Bunny I think you hit it for me. Sometimes I really need a good cry and this show gives me the excuse and the trigger to let it go. I watched last nights episode too and the tears were much less but still there. I don't give myself much time anymore to reflect on my loss and the scars it has left. The kids and I talk about him and something brings him to mind every day but I don't often let the pain and sadness in. When I watch a TV show or movie or hear a real life story about someone losing a spouse too young, my empathy for the widow/er is stronger than the walls I have built up. At least this show gives me a chance to feel it in private and at a time I'm prepared for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I watched last night too, interesting that I know it will hurt and yet decide to go there anyway. It is like therapy to cry hard and let it go, and I hadn't done this for a long time. It helps to be able to compartmentalize and tuck it away again though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Generally speaking- I had NO IDEA just how prevalent young widowhood was in movies and TV shows until it happened to me. Right?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baywebbshelton Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I understand how you feel. This morning when I woke up I sobbed like I haven't in a couple years all because of a dream. I haven't stopped crying 8 hours later. It just comes and goes, but never really goes away. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooshy Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I hear you. I have never watched the show but my coworkers were all over it. I admit I saw a little bit of the funeral scene and turned it off. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peony Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWidowWhisperer Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 i'm so sorry. There are many shows, movies and plays that evoke those feelings in me. I somewhat enjoyed This Is Us before this episode. I like how clever it is when they flash forward and back. But their depiction of human beings feels like fiction to me. I could not relate at all as to how the character responded to her husband dying. I also couldn't understand how the Super Bowl resonated so much with the kids when none of them were home that day to watch with their dad. My TV criticism aside, triggers are so unpredictable, so I was a bit surprised that I was dry-eyed during this episode. You just never know what's going to resonate or what will excavate grief. I got sidelined a few weeks ago and wrote something about it if you're interested...https://thewidowwhisperer.com/2018/02/08/trigger-alert/ I wish you peace and comfort Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I love this show. Call me crazy but when I watch it I feel like yes! someone gets it! I really like how they weave loss and adversity into life decades later, showing how it manifests itself and how they all deal with it. A promo I saw said something like "just two episodes left...." Is the series ending? Or just the season? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Tonight's episode. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( <3<3<3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euf Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 A promo I saw said something like "just two episodes left...." Is the series ending? Or just the season? It is just the end of the season. As a widow whose husband died 11 years ago, I assume I watch it from a different perspective than someone whose husband/wife died recently. I think if I was watching it 11 years ago, I'd be sobbing my way through it. Now I am just appreciating the way the show is unfolding. I will admit that I sometimes cry a bit. But I also laugh a bit and I appreciate a show that has a widow that seems real to me. I watch a very little bit of television. Don't even have cable, just an antenna. But this is one show I make a point of watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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