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Purging


Elle
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There have been several discussions on this topic and many reactions to what to do with what is left behind.  So far I am doing okay in reorganizing the things my DH left behind.  Some of his things I've thrown out and some I'm keeping.  Some given to my son and grandson.

 

One thing I have a hard time deciding on is what to do is all his old MEDICAL RECORDS?  There are a lot of them!  I see no reason to keep them.  I don’t think it is necessary.  Any thoughts on this?  I am about ready to take them to the shredder.

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I got rid of everything medical related.

 

They are of no use to anyone at this point. Any potential medical condition our children may have as a result of a genetic disposition will require a full work up by the appropriate specialist anyway. Our kids do need to be told about any such medical history but other than that, all new tests, observations, etc. will need to be administered, if needed.

 

Good luck - Mike

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I got rid of everything medical related.

 

They are of no use to anyone at this point. Any potential medical condition our children may have as a result of a genetic disposition will require a full work up by the appropriate specialist anyway. Our kids do need to be told about any such medical history but other than that, all new tests, observations, etc. will need to be administered, if needed.

 

Good luck - Mike

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I got rid of it all.  Every page, every MRI print out, EVERYTHING.  I never wanted to be reminded of brain cancer ever again more than I knew I'd be reminded of brain cancer every day for the rest of my life already.  Burn it.  Shred it.  Make papier mache out of it.  I didn't even bother to do that - I just tossed it all in the recycling.  Seriously though, I've never needed any of it in five plus years.  Hugs.

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I think it depends on the type of medical issue.

 

My son who has Crohn's disease like his his Dad is transitioning from a pediatric GI to adult and will be seeing his Dad's doctor so I don't need to keep those records.  The cancer he had is rare and has not been specifically tied to Crohn's or genetics yet but his siblings and my oldest have already had baseline colonoscopies before the standard age of 50.  My middle son has one every year and my youngest will have one at age 20.

 

For some reason I haven't been able to throw out the diary/written records I kept during his illness but I haven't looked at them since the time between the one year anniversary of his diagnosis and death.  I know I should but I feel like remembering those horrible 4 months is a way to show respect for the way he handled that time so admirably.

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Because so many screenings are recommended now, hereditary conditions may not be as important as they once were.  My paternal grandmother died before I was born. She had cancer, but no one now knows what kind it started out as.  So, I've had regular mammograms and this year, a colonoscopy.  Those would be recommended whether or not we knew Grammy's history.

 

I started out with boxes and envelopes to send to this relative of Late Husband's or that one.  You know what?  All that stuff is mine now.  I no longer feel compelled to get it back to his relatives. I've thrown out a lot. My mom made a quilted throw from some of his clothes.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Its been almost a year but so far the only things I have been able to purge were clothes, a few appliances, and perfumes. Last year (Sept 2017) we gave away / donated most of her clothing and knitting items to the hurricane victims or knitting club. With the appliances, what ever the kids (she had adult children) didn't take for their families again I just sold or gave away. The perfumes were a "no brainer". not going to keep something like that around. The other thing is we are still waiting for the estate to come out of probate. Yes I own the house but her personal possessions (including medical records) belong to her family. Everything else I've kept and don't plan on changing.... (at least for another year).

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August will be five years, and I still have 3 full storage units of furniture and what-nots.  I'm finally coming to terms with the process of moving some of it along, and it fills good to to know that I'm making some progress.  Interestingly enough, some of the pictures that I've had up around the house with him, are also being tucked away.  My NG has been so supportive of me, he notices the changes and so far hasn't said anything.  Baby steps .....

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