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Kiki547

9 months in...

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I’m new here first post I lost my husband last year when we were both 30. I’m left looking after our daughter.

These last couple of months have been the hardest. Trying to stay strong for my girl. Feeling so alone but not wanting to be around people. Hiding away & no interest in anything. Exhausted from pretending to be ok

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Hi Kiki547, I'm so sorry for the loss of your DH. I can certainly relate to this

 

Feeling so alone but not wanting to be around people. Hiding away & no interest in anything. Exhausted from pretending to be ok

 

I was the same.  I truly learned what 'one day at a time' meant.  One day you will start to see a small shift/change occur.  Hang in there and keep posting.

Gentle hugs to you.

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This I see totally normal. I'm 2 years out and I will easily choose to stay home and find peace and serenity rather than going out and interacting with people. It is absolutely exhausting keeping up the I'm fine front to everyone and to your own kids as well. I do that as well because my kids feed off of my emotion. If I'm displaying sad feelings it affects them. Be gentle to yourself and pick and choose your battles. When you win one of those small victories, it feels like getting closer to a good place. Hugs!

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About 9 months in is when it started sinking in to me that this was my life now, no one was going to come in and make it all better but me.  And the realization of that was exhausting- that it wasn't enough that I had kept the kids alive and myself functioning, which took everything I had, that the next step was to actually start resurrecting our lives for the long haul. On top of that, society (ie friends and family) starts thinking we should be "over it" about this time.

 

You're normal. Grieving is exhausting. Parenting is exhausting. Putting up a false face is exhausting. Building a life is exhausting. You're doing all simultaneously. Be kind to yourself. Decide your priorities and commit to them and say no to everything else for the next little bit.  Easier said than done, I know. But worth it in the short term.

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Im so sorry - I lost my husband 6 years ago but when my son was only 9 months old. I felt like I was out of mind for a long time and kept to myself. Make sure you take care of yourself, take "down time" and your daughter will give you comfort and keep you busy during this time.  

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