The Love of my life died at 24

[Ninie]

Hi all, my name is Annie and i’m 22 years old. My boyfriend Eric passed away on april 14th 2018 after being together for almost 3 years. He died suddenly and very unexpectedly from an undiagnosed heart condition, i suppose. Everything happened so unexpectedly, I was with him the morning it happened and he seemed to be doing really good. It was just a huge shock! I really don’t know how to cope with this as i’ve never experienced this kind of pain or any loss in my family. Its so hard seeing all the couples my age starting their life together. He was my first love, a love that was so pure and simple, and I know he loved me too. We were also best friends. So hard losing my boyfriend who was also my best friend. We had so many plans together, like moving in together this year and travelling to Europe this summer. Plane tickets were bought, hotels were booked... everything was juste going to be perfect. Now I feel robbed. I feel like  my future is empty and pointless without him, I have no interest in anything anymore. I know i’m young, but he was my soulmate, and now i’m afraid I wont ever be able to find that type of love again. All I do is cry and sleep because my heart haches so much. I miss talking to him everyday.... My family and friends have been very supportive since and I’m thankful for that. I’m gonna go see a counselor tomorrow so hopefully she can help me with the process, because I don’t know where to begin with this.

 

 

Any young people like me who experienced something similar? How  to cope with this? Any advices? Does it get better ?

[sudnlysngl]

I'm so sorry for your loss Annie. I'm not young like you so I can't imagine your pain at your age.

 

Please keep coming here and expressing yourself. I'm glad your going to see a counselor, take good care of yourself, or at least the best that you can right now.

 

It does get easier with time, and I can tell you that. I also can tell you that we all learn how to live with the loss in our own ways, and I can promise you that the love stays with you.

 

((((hugs))))

[Wheelerswife]

Hi, Annie,

 

I am so sorry you lost your beloved Eric.  I am also older than you, but I cannot imagine the pain at your young age with your dreams for a lifetime with your love.  I know it is hard to imagine your future right now - and my best advice right now is not to even try.  This is such a shock and so new and you have more than enough to process right now.  Try not to think about the long-term.

 

I think most of us would say that right now, just think about getting through each day.  Sometimes, when that is too difficult, just think about getting through the next hour or even minutes.  In time, you will see that you have come beyond the place you are right now and you will be able to focus more on what comes next.  I assure you - and I have had way too much experience at this - you will make it through the worst experience of your life.  You are strong (and maybe weak...and that is okay) and you will make it through this.

 

I know I say not to think about the future, but I know I did and you will sometimes, too.  Life has more twists and turns than many people know, and you have learned this young in life.  Your life will become good again.  It will be different than you "planned", but some day, you will see that losing your beloved Eric has changed you, but in the long run, it will not break you.  You will always carry him in your heart, but I know from experience that your heart will grow and you can find the same kind of space to love another person.  This is unimaginable right now, of course.  So...take these words and put them aside and when you are ready, look at them again.  They will make more sense in the future.

 

In the meantime, grieve your loss as long as necessary.  On some level, I feel as though I will always grieve, but I know that I loved again with grief as a partner in my heart.  That second love was truly amazing and brought me incredible joy.

 

Hugs to you.  Don't be afraid to come here and pour your heart out.

 

Maureen

[KimberlyMarie88]

I just lost the love of my life on April 9th due to a motorcycle accident. I had no idea he was on his bike and didn’t even find out until the next day. I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. We just planned to take off work and travel together for two years. My future feels very much robbed too. We would have been together for 3 years this time. I’m 29 about to be 30 and dated him at 21 for a little while and stayed friends until we dated again. I can’t eat and can’t sleep. If you would like to talk to someone I’m always here as our hearts stopped beating close to the same day. I’ve chosen to go to a grief counselor and that helps some. Mainly because my counselor lost her son at 18 ten years ago in a car crash. Somehow people make it through this. We will make it through this. I lived with my boy friend and haven’t stepped foot back in that house since the morning I last saw him. Grieve the way you need to grieve. Scream/cry I don’t care. Just do what you need to do to get the feelings out. You’re not alone

[Ninie]

Thank you all for the hope you’re giving me. Right know I’m just in survival mode... trying to sleep, eat and stay hydrated.

 

I just didn't know this kind of pain existed. I see people on a few months out and i’m  just like....wow!  how did you survive this long? Because it’s only been a week and i’m already so tired of feeling like this, every second of the day.

 

And I’m sorry if my thoughts are all over the place, I just came back from the funerals and my mind is still trying to process what just happened. So unreal... I still feel like it didn’t happen.

 

[BrokenHeart2]

Hi Ninie, I am so sorry for your loss . This is one place you never have to apologize for having your thoughts all over the place.  We get it.  We're either there too or have been there.  I guess that's why this is such a supportive place to let it out.  We all unfortunately have this in common.

You are so right, I never knew this level of pain existed either. I had no idea how I was going to survive this and truly learned what 'one day at a time' meant right down to sometimes one hour at a time.

KimberlyMarie88, I'm so sorry for your loss too.

You are both much younger than I am and you've both had your futures shattered.  Something I read early out for me really stuck and I kept repeating it in my head when I needed to "If your going through hell, just keep going." Ladies, just keep going.  Be gentle and kind to yourselves and hang in there.  It does get softer with time.

Hugs

[Julester3]

Thinking of you...I'm also not as young as you but I can acutely recall the severe pain of the realization of my experience, trying to understand it, and then having to let go of our plans and dreams we made together. It's soul crushing and it's hard to imagine being able to dig yourself out of the abyss. But once acceptance comes, you have to figure out who you want to be, redefine your identity. I was like who the hell am I without him? I then spent the time trying to figure it out - learning to carve out my life and my kids' lives without Josh. Time does soften the hurt and a little trial and error helped me define who I decided to be, that my husband influenced the person I am now.  I'm okay and I know he was meant to be a part of my life. It just sucks he was taken too soon.