FMLA

[KimberlyMarie88]

Has anyone taken FMLA after losing your soulmate? How did you make it through this? Did you go to work or take time off? I'm thinking about taking three weeks off (two weeks after his passing). I just don't know if that's a good idea to have that much time on my hands, or would it really help heal me. My job is very supportive, but i'm in a building with 100 people. I literally sit at a desk and cry alllllll day. I walk down the halls with tears in my eyes and i can barely get myself to stay there all day. I just need some light on this decision i'm debating on making.

[Wheelerswife]

I took 6 weeks of FMLA after my first husband died. I went away and visited friends for a little of that time. I was exhausted from caregiving and his final hospitalization.

 

It was a good option for me. I worked with patients back then and I needed to be able to focus well enough.

 

Perhaps you can discuss this with HR?

 

Maureen

[KimberlyMarie88]

I have the form ready to be filled out by my Greif Counselor if I decide to. I don't know if it would be a good idea to have that much time on my hands. But, I was thinking about doing it to travel to some places we had been to (Probably self torture), or go to places he always wanted to go to. I really don't have a plan, I just know work is really hard.

[Megan89]

I took two weeks off of work and then went back and got on intermittent FMLA. I initally used it one day a week and went to grief counseling that day and took the rest of the day off. Now it's just if I'm having a particular rough day, I can call in and it doesn't count against me.

 

About crying at work...initially my boss was supportive, but today she told me it's really unprofessional when you cry. She doesn't know how hard I try not to. I understand it must be getting old for them, as it's coming up on 11 months, but some days still are just so painful.

 

I need the structure of work. With no kids and friends and family all working, I didn't want to sit in an empty house all day and night with nothing to do.

 

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

[KimberlyMarie88]

Thank you Megan. Im worried my bosses will get to the same point. I did take FMLA this past week. It has helped me a whole bunch. I'm so sorry you're in the same boat that I am in. I will be praying for you as well. The idea that years will pass... makes me super depressed... I still can't believe he is gone, and it'll be a month Wednesday now... It doesn't feel real, and i wish it wasn't.  I'm glad to hear I'm not alone, and you took paths that i'm currently taking. I'm seeing a grief counselor as well. She is helping me a decent amount. I kept going to his wreck site where he passed. And, she told me to not make a place a shrine. I haven't been by there in almost two weeks now. i haven't looked his name up on google in a week. i was constantly obsessing, and i've finally made myself stop. It's been helping me a good bit. But, that hole in my heart is always there.