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Four years today


sojourner
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He died four years ago today. It feels both like forever ago and like it's happening now. For the most part, I'd say I'm beyond active grieving, but then there are moments where I feel like I've just begun.

 

There's been so much collateral damage; my old life has been completely demolished. Virtually everything in this unwelcomed new life is still about doing what has to be done for the survival of my kids and me, and learning how to cope with the enormity of it all. In about another year, I'll have an empty nest- I have such mixed feelings about that!  Getting my youngest through high school and working to get her in a better state mentally/emotionally has been a huge challenge, but I think we're getting there.  Once she (hopefully) graduates and fledges, I'll be able to focus on rebuilding my own life in more positive ways (probably involving another move), instead of this treading water that I'm doing now. In my old life, I just never in my worst nightmares thought that I'd be facing the empty nest alone.

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14 minutes ago, sojourner said:

I just never in my worst nightmares thought that I'd be facing the empty nest alone

 

I know this feeling exactly. Both my sons are home for the last time this summer. Then they will be moving out. My wife and I planned on traveling a lot more and rediscovering ourselves as a couple. Now I have to reinvent myself as a single.

Edited by Leadfeather
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I'm almost at this point. One kid graduates from high school at the end of the month and my other kid starts high school. She's already got things lined up for summer: summer school to get a head start, band camp and tennis. The other kid will likely look for a summer job or volunteer opportunity. They will hardly be home and I'll have a pretty empty home to myself this summer. 

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