The bandaid was ripped off

[Eddienhp]

I have a male friend who visits occasionally when he is in town for business. The relationship is solely platonic. My kids adore him. He is pleasant to have around. That said, after he leaves, its like the bandaid gets ripped off and the grief comes back. During his visits I clearly see all that we are missing; a husband, a dad, companionship, etc. My 8 year old daughter even asked me why I didn't find someone new. I know she would love to have a dad like figure in her life. Both of my kids want that. I just don't see it for me. I hardly have free time as I work full time and spend my nights/weekends raising the children. 

 

6+ years out and I am still being hammered by grief. I even stood in front of my husband's picture talking to him, asking why he had to leave, that I missed him and wished he were here. He did send a sign later on during the day. An unmistakable one that I could not discount. I am forever grateful for the signs. It just sucks my kids don't get to have a dad and I don't get to have a companion. 

 

Eileen

[Julester3]

Hugs Eileen! You can honestly only do what you have energy for. I believe that had my kids been younger, there was no way I'd date or even attempt to re-couple. Kids need so much from us at a younger age and when you are the only one running everything, it's not only challenging, it's exhausting! We too have good platonic male friends that were LH's friends and we have game night every month so consistency helps. I get my little signs and I am okay so I have shared that with the kids and tell them that they have signs too but just need to notice them or figure them out. Hugs today! 

[sudnlysngl]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this with young children. It's hard enough without young kids involved. Both you and Julester are blessed to still have friends that come around. (((hugs)))

[Captains wife]

I'm so sorry - I have a 7 year old that lost his dad at nine months old. And while we have built a happy life, there is a void. Dating with work, children and grief is tough and is not the same as being married to the father of your children. Heck - Im dating someone but still lonely....its just so different. Im also 6 years out but really missing LH recently for some reason. I'm happy to hear you had a sign and wish you many more. We have the same bird come and peck at our back window, when my son is sitting there and we both talk about it being a "check in" from his Dad.