Subtle Changes

[Bunny]

When I was married, I really loved wearing hats. Actually, I’ve loved wearing them for most of my life. But now - I’m much more likely to put a scarf in my hair. And, when I go thrift shopping, I’m always looking to add to my growing collection. I very rarely ever wore them on my head before being widowed. 

 

Weird. 

[Leadfeather]

When I was married I played roleplaying games with a group of friends 2 or 3 times a month. It was our version of the guys poker night. Since my wife died all interest in playing those games has disappeared. I think it might be because my whole life has become focused on playing a new roll and I have no mental energy to be someone else. 

[sudnlysngl]

Funny how much their death has changed us. I look in the mirror and think I have a permanent look of sadness. I know I don't put makeup on as much as I once did. I think I just don't care like I did when he was here.

I definitely aged a little faster the first 2-3 years after he passed, but it has now been 11.5 years and I wish some of these things would get better. I keep trying, can't blame a girl for trying...

[Bunny]

I feel very fortunate that one of the reasons I probably enjoy scarves so much now is my long, silver-streaked hair. I stopped dyeing it 8 years ago when my husband got sick. I must say, I love the way it sparkles now in the sunshine.

 

It’s definitely a work in progress, but I am learning how to grow older as gracefully as I can. I still feel attractive, but also enjoy the invisibility that being over 50 affords to me. I walk in the world with so much ease now. It’s very freeing.