today is/was dh's birthday

[klim]

and I forgot......until now ....facebook reminded me.

 

i looked up at his picture and apologized for doing it again. You see I had bad reputation for forgetting dates when he was alive too.

Realistically i think my forgetful mind or my being caught up in the present has helped me on this journey. Dates don't weigh heavy on me, we were't good at celebrating things....birthdays, aninversaries meant little.    By the way my our wedding annivesary is tomorrow....see I can remember when I try 😊

 

Anyways made me think am I forgetting him. I am moving on in life but what else can you do. He was my first love , the father of my children. He will be with me always in some way.

[tybec]

happy anniversary!  

 

Do you think that is a sign of healing for you or just your norm since dates were not your way of celebrating?  I think our brains/bodies have to let go as we aren't meant to stay in the state of grief and loss forever.  You just can't, ya know.  

It is mind boggling to have this human, first love, father of your children, drift away but then always be a part of us.  Our capacity to love, survive is  hard to fathom. I have an only child. So maybe it is comparable to having more than one child You can have multiple children and love them all, not the same as they are different humans, so maybe similar to loving a new partner after having lost one?  

 

 Hope you can reconcile it all somehow.  Working on this myself.