Steph Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 A woman I know, probably in her mis 80s, lost her husband of all her adult years on July 3rd. I didn't know about until I read it tonight on Facebook. As I was reading through all the comments, one woman wrote: I am sorry for your loss, it must be tough. It must be tough?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me???? It must be tough???? I wanted to cyber slap her, but since you can't, I am ranting here. Sorry for my rant. I feel better now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 Most people should stick to...I'm sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 There is nothing one can say that will satisfy everyone. I accepted all expressions of sympathy, poorly delivered or not, as sincere and heartfelt. It just makes everything easier. Mike 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairlanegirl Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I'm with Portside here TBH, at least the lady cared enough to say something, and acknowledge that it is indeed tough, rather than giving her some silly positive thinking message or worse. It was succinct and to the point. 'Tough' can cover a lot of things too, from having a cold, to serious mental health issues to losing your home to losing a loved one to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I appreciated any attempt at condolences, but my most appreciated comment during those first couple of days was not the caring "i'm so sorry, you poor dear "comments but my one friend who's first words out of her mouth when she saw me were "FUck....seriously what the fuck??" .First of all she never swears so it added to the impact and honestly it was what I was feeling, so I appreciated it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Some people are true DGI’s that should know better. Like my gynecologist. She told me just weeks after my first husband died that I would be better off without him. Yeah. A 60-something year old doctor. Or my father. He asked me when I was 3 months out why I was still sad, since I knew my husband was going to die. (He has always been stunted emotionally.) I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I do tend to hold onto the sting of these kinds of comments, even when I don’t want to. It is kind of like someone inadvertently dropping a hammer on your foot. Even though they didn’t do it on purpose, it still hurts a lot when it hits and it takes a while before the pain subsides. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Hey Steph you don't need to appoligize for your rant! Rant away! . I get what you're saying and at the same time others have made good points. DGI's for sure. klim, I'm with you on your friend's comment because it is real and from the heart. I appreciated when people said "I just don't know what to say". That was more comforting than the empty accolades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love2fish Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 We feel things so much more intensely after our loss. A minor bump can feel like a brick wall. I try to remember these lyrics, they help me remember that no harm was intended “just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean you did anything wrong” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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