Rant about the DGI's..... (Don't get it's.....)

[calimom]

Count me among those who find the term DGI a bit offensive and dismissive. I've never liked it but understand that others seem to love it.  Also not a fan of diagnosing possible mental heath issues helpful unless one is a qualified professional. In my mind it's OK to not agree with everything that's said on this site. We can provide support without talking into an echo chamber. We don't always need to agree on everything; it's the basis of adult communication.Other viewpoints can be very helpful. The very very new and raw need to find a safe space, that's true, but most after a year or more should be able to handle different points of view and accept feedback. 

 

Had the OP asked for advice on the topic of how much to share of a sensitive time in her and  her children's grieving, I might have gently suggested not to share so much of what's going on, unless she truly wanted to hear what her new gentleman friend responded. I might have said to tell him that they were not available in that particular time frame, and relayed that they needed some private time as a family. That should be enough for any reasonable, grown adult. I don't thing we need to "share" every situation and circumstance with everyone, whether we're building a fresh relationship or otherwise. I do agree, and have been scolded for,  giving advice when a rant was posted. 

 

Sometimes we don't want to hear what we need to hear. Fully understood. And OP, I do wish you well as you navigate you new relationship. You're smart and will figure this out.

 

[tybec]

"We were talking the other evening about the phrases one uses when trying to comfort someone who is in distress.  I told him that in English we sometimes say "I've been there".  This was unclear to him at first-I've been where?  But I explained that deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time.  When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place.  But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.

"So sadness is a place?" Giovanni asked.

"Sometimes people live there for years" I said

 

Elizabeth Gilbert- Eat, Pray, Love

 

Got this from the quotes section. Never used the DGI term but here.  It is just a way to express anger/frustration and vent.  It is usually around the early parts of grief and subsides thankfully. Maybe some of you were very able to take the high road most of the time, but many of us just need to let loose.  I don’t cuss.  Not me.  AND I don’t get all offended when people do out of frustration or to express themselves.  No different imho.