Thinking of taking a year off work

[Moonwalk]

Hi,

My name is K and I lost my husband nearly 4 mo ago. I am 38. We have two young children. I have extremely limited help, both of my parents have passed. I have been on my own for awhile since my husband had not been in the house the past year due to substance abuse. I have felt very strongly about taking time off since he passed. I have zero time unless it is late at night and I am drowning. I feel like I need to take some time to soul search and do things like swim or volunteer and find me- so that I can be the best Mom to my kids. Has anyone taken a significant time away from work? 

[Captains wife]

I lost my husband suddenly when my son was 9 months old and I thought many times of taking a leave of absence from work- and I wish I had. I was just worried about doing it from a financial standpoint. I did, though, shorten my working hours at the office. If you are able to do it, taking time off with 2 young kids sounds like a really smart idea as you work through the grief. It will also give you a good period of time to bond with your kids and do other things you want to do. 

[shayla]

If you can afford to I think it is a great idea. I've been a stay-at-home mom all of my kids' lives and after my husband passed they were really worried about me leaving them to work. Now that I have most of the financial stuff figured out, I realize I don't have to get a job right away. I plan to take this first year to spend with my kids and figure out what I might want to do. I will probably try to get a degree of some sort. I talked with my counselor and he agreed that now isn't the time to start classes or a new career if I can avoid it. I hope everything works out for you.

[Toosoon2.0]

Hi there - I wanted to lend another voice encouraging you to take the time off if you can afford it.  I did not take any time off, except for one week, and I paid dearly for it later on as the mental/emotional and physical exhaustion of caretaking and then solo parenting piled up, there was no time to even think about my grieving.  It was 24/7 autopilot until I crashed spectacularly after about 10 months.  If you can give yourself this gift, I would do it.  

[Moonwalk]

Thankyou for all of your kind comments. I have given it a lot of thought and soul searching. My husband even came to me in a dream to say to take the time off.  It is the first time I have taken a true leap of faith and I feel very at peace. 

[TornApart]

So glad you decided to do it. Took my 18 months to go against all the advice of my family and friends (all people that hadn't lost their partner) and take 3 months off. Best thing I ever did. Go with your gut instinct. Listen to your inner voice.