Time is making it harder

[Sc39]

It has been 7 weeks. I thought that the pain would slowly lessen, but it is getting harder. Each day that passes i miss him more. It is one more day without him, and the longer i go without hearing his voice or feeling his touch, the more heartbreak i feel. Time does not heal all wounds. Time sometimes deepens them. 

I cannot imagine the rest of my life feeling like this. What kind of life is that? 

I prayed to God, but everything i wanted to ask for was impossible. I can't have him back....this pain won't just disappear....so what do i ask for? I think most of all i want to know WHY. Why did this happen to us? Why did he have to die? Why am i the one chosen to go through this horror? 

Life has shown me how cruel it can be...and it has broken me. I have to pick up the pieces of myself at some point and try to live again...

[Wheelerswife]

7 weeks is barely a drop of water in a big puddle. Sadly, I think you will continue to feel intense pain for more time. In 7 months, you might feel less intense pain. It will take even more time for you to feel like you can bear the pain of losing him. I can’t tell you just when it will be more bearable, but I have lived through this twice, and I can tell you that I have survived. You will, too. 

 

Hugs,

 

Maureen

[Michael]

I completely understand as I have said the same thing over and over again. It has been just over 2 months since I lost my Lisa.

I am just starting to accept the fact that she is gone but what really scares me is that I am just realizing she is never coming back.

Every time I try to take a step forward I get smacked with the reality of my life without Lisa. When I picture my future, she is there for a second and then reality sets in.

The truth is that we loved someone so much that we cannot imagine a life without them and that is a tribute to our love. 

I struggle with hearing that time heals wounds or that I will be OK. Time with Lisa went so quickly and now it is at a standstill. It feels like Groundhog Day every morning.  

I believe that none of this is supposed to make any sense to us because it isn’t normal.

I watched my wife fight for her life with confidence, grace and a smile on her face. I have prayed and asked for just some relief and every now and then there is a break in the clouds. 

I will miss and love Lisa forever and it was my privilege to be her husband and caregiver. 

[BrokenHeart2]

Sc39 and Michael, hugs to both of you.

[Mizpah]

On 9/15/2018 at 12:31 PM, Sc39 said:

Time does not heal all wounds. Time sometimes deepens them. 

 

 

 

Later on, time will ease the insanely unbearable acuteness of the pain.  But that's for later, and it will happen gradually over large periods of time, in my experience.  Seven weeks feels like an eternity, I know, but it was months before I felt like I could survive the pain - I don't recall most of the first five months, and that is a mercy.  It will not always hurt in this way.  It changes.  It becomes easier to live with, though I know that feels impossible right now, and perhaps even undesirable.  I'm wishing you moments of comfort