Jump to content

Feeling lost


boysx3
 Share

Recommended Posts

I had found the Young Widowed Site about a week after by husband passed away. By chance one night, I searched again for a widow site and found this one. Thank you. It helps reading everyone else's posts and knowing I am not the only one going through this.

November will be 8 years for me since I lost my husband. For the last 8 years I have continued to raise my three sons, who were 11, 15 & 17 when their dad passed. I watched them all graduate 

high school and two of them college and my last son is now in his second year of college. Life after my husband was still full of football, baseball and soccer games. Of car pooling and hosting many friends in our house all the time. I really was never alone. Now my life seems lost. I have many friends but still feel alone. I miss my husband more each day. 

The thought of growing old alone is so hard. My empty nest is really empty.  How do the rest of you do this? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

46 minutes ago, boysx3 said:

 How do the rest of you do this? 

 

Hi Bx3 - the easy answer is I built a new life for myself. I'm not trying to sound flip but that's what was necessary for me. My late wife was not the only thing that died when she passed. Some relationships, some attachments to places and some habits went away also. Not all necessarily negative btw.

 

I took the initiative when I was able and rebuilt certain things and started building a new life around new points of interest, new people and a new reality. 

 

I viewed it as a new adventure. I had to. I couldn't mope around forever. We had a good run but sadly, she was gone now and I needed to continue on with my life. 

 

Good luck - none of this is easy.

 

Mike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am where you were. Approaching 7 years for me with a 12 and 9 year old. My life is consumed with working and taking care of kids. I know one day I will be on my own as the kids grow and take on their new lives. I am planning to take library courses, join clubs, and activity groups. Maybe I will look to date. 

 

This life is hard. We used to have a partner. Now we don't. We must deal with what we have and go from there. 

 

Wishing you the best,

Eileen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fall very much into a similar category. My Boys were 15 and 17 and now are 20 and 22.I took them the rest of the way through to "adulthood"  by myself. They haven't really mastered the independant thing, but we're trying so the nest is not truly empty but getting there.

 

I too have done what Port side mentioned and that is to re-engineer my life. I still struggle with balance between old and new but I'm trying. 

 

The one thing I was careful of was to make sure that my sons knew I wasn't relying on them for companionship, that they needed to soar on their own and not worry about mom. I've seen some ( particularily one) divorced friend that I think relied too heavily on her daughter and to me it was unhealthy. I want my sons to know I'm there for them but that I'm looking after my own needs as well...and my own needs involve socializing outside of family outings and work functions. I initially relied on Meetups but from there I now have a core group of friends and also a boyfriend. The future is not clear yet but my fear of growing old alone has faded.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.