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Silverfish

Starting a new Hobby to eat up time

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Anyone else do this? Literally the day after the funeral I dove head first into the "curly girl method." Which is a way of nurturing your naturally curly hair. There are tons of rules and experimenting with products and it can take forever if you let it. It's been good for my soul a little. 

I always had what I called "Hermione hair" (from Harry Potter), and I never knew it could look this nice. The fact that I can wear my hair down every day and it looks nice has been wonderful. But having something to do in the loooong hours between when my kids go to bed and I do has been the real benefit. Am I the only crazy one?

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No, you aren’t crazy!  It can be incredibly hard to fill time that feels so empty without a beloved spouse. Nothing feels normal. Some people binge watch movies. Some just sit paralyzed. Others find exercise, shopping, reading, painting... or just plain nothing. If it helps you and isn’t destructive, go for it!

 

Maureen

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I remember one of my therapists told me I needed to find a passion.  I had no clue what the heck she was talking about (brain fog was still bad back then).  So I signed up for so many things.  I do pottery, stain glass, kayaking and now have my restricted firearm license. It is fun trying new things.  

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I have plenty of hobbies and I really needed them to fill the blank time and it was my main coping skill. My kids are teens and are quite self sufficient. LH and I were able to spend a lot of time with one another pursuing our own interests (he'd play video games and I'd work on a craft) or we'd watch TV or movies together because the kids were at band or tennis or out with their friends. The emptiness that was left when he died was huge to me. I did not have his physical companionship any more or witty banter. I had to keep busy as constant as I could, be distracted when I wasn't already busy working or doing things with the kids. I could often feel the sadness consume me when I did nothing but watch TV and I had no interest in reading anything even though I love to read. So, I went on this crocheting binge. I made several shawls, many scarves of all different types, blankets, afghans, hats for cats. It kept my mind busy and my hands occupied. I also scrapbooked like a fiend. I wanted to preserve our memories while I could focus on them. I was once several years behind. Now, I literally am so caught up with nothing to scrapbook other than an album dedicated to my LH. I am not ready for it. Not yet. The hobbies really helped me cope and redirect my energy positively. They didn't drain me but invigorated me. So I didn't have to learn any new hobbies. I just focused on a few that I already had. 

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Self care is super important! I took to doing house projects when my son was young, right after my husband died as I couldn't get out of the house. I sewed cushions, redecorated a vanity (using ideas from Home Network) etc. Its good to find anything to fill the time and keep busy!

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I took up ballroom dancing, spent a lot of time in dance class and went to competitions.  When dancing, it was impossible to focus on anything else but that and it was very therapeutic for me.   I had been an avid reader but it took a few years for that to come back - my focus just wasn't there for anything other than something that was physically demanding.

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On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 9:27 AM, trying2breathe said:

I took up ballroom dancing, spent a lot of time in dance class and went to competitions.  When dancing, it was impossible to focus on anything else but that and it was very therapeutic for me.   I had been an avid reader but it took a few years for that to come back - my focus just wasn't there for anything other than something that was physically demanding.

Awesome - I also took up ballroom dancing for a while and found is really helped boost my mood : ) I friended a guy online (that had just gone through an awful divorce) and we danced together and hung out as friends - would go for lunch or dinner after our lesson. It was just what I needed at the time. We aren't doing this any longer as we are both in relationships but it was a great distraction when I was heavily grieving.

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I lost my husband 5 weeks ago.  I am just starting to attempt to do "normal things", work, pay bills, normal life stuff and there is too much time to fill.  Too much emptiness.  SO, I am looking at finding some hobbies as well.  I like your hair idea (my hair is soooo straight, though).  I'm seeing random facial masks and fun toenail polish perhaps in my future....

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