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Widowed Jan 16, 2019.


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Just another day.  Am not crying as often, but when it comes, it is just as loud & painful as ever. Never know what will bring it on.  Usually, it seems spontaneous.

Oh man, this hurts.  Why?  Why does it hurt so freaking bad?  Emotional pain is something I wish we humans didn't have.  It can't be cured.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. When my wife died it hurt worse than anything I had ever experienced before or since. And you are right, it can not be cured. But it can be endured. I don't know if the pain of loss goes away. I do know that you will get stronger and you will be able to carry that pain and you will find a way to rebuild your life. It has been 26 months since my wife died. And life is good again. It is not what it was, and it will never be what I expected my life to be. But it is good. And I can remember her and smile and be grateful for the years we had together. Even typing these sentences brings back a few tears. But I am strong enough to accept them, appreciate the past, and move forward toward a different future. With time, you will find you can do the same. Time does not heal all wounds, but time can make us strong enough to carry those wounds.

 

Be kind to yourself. Take all the time you need to grieve. Know your spouse loved you and you can carry the memories of that love forward into a new life.

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The initial loss is so painful (mine was a sudden death)....I remember that vividly - and the triggers....I cried in the car a lot driving to work. I also remember I couldn't function well for a while. As Leadfeather said, please take care of yourself, try and get sleep, find a grief counselor and/or support group, vent/post on here. Time will help (Im almost 7 yrs out now)...I promise although it doesn't seem like that in the early days. Wishing you all the best,

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