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Ben1437

ANGER TOWARDS EVERYONE & EVERYTHING

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In one month, it will be two years that my husband lost his battle with Stage IV Kidney Cancer. In the first year I was extremely angry, angry at God, angry that my husband had to suffer so badly and have his life taken away, angry that I became a widow at 32, angry that my 3year old will never have her father in her life. 

Even now I feel like I still carry around a lot of anger. I don’t have other widows around me. All of my closest friends have either just gotten married, are getting married, or are buying homes and creating families. And here I am widowed. I feel like half of me has died. My friends try to be supportive but they just don’t get it. And though it may sounds very mean of me, Im so sick of hearing my girlfriends complain about their husbands not helping with household chores or not taking out the trash etc. I want to shake them and tell them how lucky they are to have healthy husbands who love and protect them. They really do not know how incredibly lucky they are. It’s so hard maintaining a home, raising a child, and everything in between alone. It’s incredibly exhausting, especially when some days all you want to do is sleep and not wake up.  Sorry for the rant. Just had to get this off my chest. 

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Please vent away! Nothing feels better than simply venting and being able to unload. We get it. Anger though is understandable in your situation. It’s hard to get over the unfairness this anger can stew. I also totally understand hating listening to friends bitch about their husbands. At least they still have a living one! It’s getting to be old hat, I’m sure. Hugs to you! 

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I lost my husband to kidney cancer too. What an awful disease. Please don't hesitate to vent here. We all get it. You aren't alone. I'd give anything to have my husband annoy me just one more time. Much love to you. 

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It took me, like, 5-6 years to start feeling my various angers lessening in strength. I did A Lot of venting, especially in the F-you thread in 6-12 mo. section. Maybe I should go bump that...

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The loss of my husband was sudden but my son was 9 months old at the time and we had just moved to new town. Didn’t know anyone and my immediate family was very far away. I relate very much to what you wrote- I had anger issues for a long time although finally got to a better place. The “petty” complaints from people used to infuriate me. My coping mechanisms for the anger was to find a therapist, started doing a lot of cardio workouts including kickboxing and tried to keep toxic people out of my space - and venting here. I’m so sorry for your loss...I completely understand and anger is part of the grieving process for many. 

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My heart breaks for you Ben1437.  You are close enough in age to be my granddaughter.  I like to think that if I did have a granddaughter in your position that she would be angry.  It's a healthy normal reaction to when everything just sucks.  

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