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New loss, old pain

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Today he would've been 51 but he only made it to 45.  Last night we lost a dear friend.  He was Tim's friend from highschool and my friend from college.  He introduced us in 1998.  Of course he was trying to fix Tim up with my roommate not me., lol, Tim brought another friend with him who ended up marrying my roommate.  He was Godfather to our youngest.  I can't help but hope there is some form of after life and that Tim was there to welcome him and they are together today for Tims birthday.  

How am I supposed to make it through this friends wake and funeral without Tim by my side to share the pain and the endless memories of our time together?  There is a never ending supply of important events both happy and sad that he is not here by my side for and it pisses me off.  He should be here to go through this with me.



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Hugs to you, my old colleague. I’m sorry for your additional loss. Your new husband has not lived this history with you and you are left reliving old grief with new grief for your dear friend.  I’m sorry Tim isn’t here for you. 


I don’t know about you, but most of my family just doesn’t understand that grief resurfaces around days like birthdays and is compounded by additional losses, especially for those of us who experience the unnatural loss of someone who has not made it to old age.   I’m glad you have a place to express your grief here. 


Hugs to you. I’m not a believer in the afterlife, but it sure would be nice if there is one where our spouses and other friends and family are having peaceful reunions. 



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Oh Trying, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Another deep connection to Tim is gone, which must be gutting. It isn't right that Tim isn't with you for this or any other big or small event :( 

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Im so sorry Trying ! That loss must be very triggering as well.....I'm not really religious but it comforts me (and my son) to think about heaven or an afterlife and that's where our loved ones are, and meeting everyone else there.

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I find that all memorial services are triggering.  I try to avoid them.  And I can't sit through "Amazing Grace" at church; I have to physically leave the building so that I can't hear it. I'm nearly six years out, and that song will punch a tunnel into that grief well like no other.  Throw in bagpipes?  FOGGETABOUDIT!!

Edited by Golorth

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