Change

[Toosoon2.0]

So this could be a crazy rambling post so I apologize in advance.

 

My family went from two to five, when I remarried, and then to six when we "adopted" (I can't think of another way to put it) a young refugee from east Africa a few years ago.  I don't really know how to explain how this person became part of our family but he did.  He's home from college for the long weekend and this morning we sat him down and told him we might be moving (it is still hypothetical right now but increasingly it looks like in the next six months we'll be relocating).  Our house is the first real home he has had in the past decade (and he's only 25) so telling him that might change was a big deal.  Anyway, the reason I'm writing this post is that I could feel his panic and grief.  It was palpable and real - another loss, more uncertainty, starting over again, one more thing he can't count on.  I did everything in my power not to cry but it was so hard to see how scared he was.  We knew it was a big responsibility to become a surrogate, stand-in family for him.  We knew what we were taking on when we made this commitment.  We talk a lot about triggers here and yes, they are real, but seeing his grief play out in real time this morning threw me for a loop.  It made me think about how fragile we all are, how the ground beneath us is not as firm as we'd like to think it is.  I told him in the end it will just be the beginning of a new story for all of us and that as long as we have each other we'll be ok.  I'm not sure he believed me and I am not sure I believe it myself.  

 

Thanks for listening.  It really sucks to be emotionally overwhelmed before 7 am.  

[tybec]

No great words of wisdom here.  Change is so hard, even if it is “good” for us.  Thanks for sharing.  You have been a spokesperson for sharing so many changes, facets of “chapter 2” new life.  Wishing for transitions to  be smooth.  ❤️🙏🏼

[Toosoon2.0]

Thanks, Tybec.  It really upset me to see how delicate Araia's - that's his name - sense of security is.  That we're all he's got.  That the bedroom we made for him is the only home he's known since he ran from his home country nearly ten years ago.  And the universe suddenly felt very shaky again, like all we have to hold on to is each other.  Sorry - emotional morning.  

[cathyr]

I'm so sorry you are all having to deal with yet another change and can see how devastating this must feel for Araia.  As long as he is reassured that your family will always be there for him and that, although your family may be physically moving to a new location, he will always have a place with you, in your heart and home, wherever you go.   After all he has been through in his young life, it may take time for him to realize that he is loved and safe with you and your family wherever that may be. 

[trying2breathe]

Oh gosh, TS - tears as I think of Araia's emotions as he processes this move, and where he fits in with all of it.  Transition is hard, and I can only imagine how he feels about this move.  I hope that ultimately he will know that despite changes there can be a solid foundation that he can trust and feel good about.  Thanks for sharing.