Tomorrow is my late wife's birthday, and today I the house that will be my home and someday soon the home of my wife-to-be.

[Leadfeather]

Christine would have turned 50 tomorrow. It is a strange thing that she will eternally be 47. She no longer grows old, but I do. Someday, God willing, I will be 87 but she will still be 47. That is a hard thing to consider, that I might have more years ahead of me than we had together. Somedays, I fear that I will forget her.

 

Today, I bought a house.

 

This will be the house that Bren and I will eventually make into our home. My ability to buy this house was made possible by Christine. Her insistence that we both get life insurance when our first child was born became a gift that allowed me to move forward without financial worry after her death. This is the smallest of the gifts she gave me in her life. Joining her life to mine, showing me how determination and an unbowed spirit can move someone forward through pain to joy, and giving me our sons were the greatest.

 

I miss her.

 

I will honor her memory by living the life I have been given with a grateful heart and a joyful spirit. I chose gratitude. I chose joy. I chose to honor her memory by loving again.

 

Tomorrow; Bren, Christopher, Andrew and I will go out for dinner together to celebrate her birthday.

 

Someday we will all die. Someday, Christ will return. And then, when all is made new, my first wife Christine will meet my wife-to-be Bren. This is a beautiful thing.

 

“And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

[tybec]

Lovely Leadfeather.  

Congrats on the new home! 

 

And I have many sentiments the same.  I turn 50 soon,  and my LH was 45 yrs old.  I have a home, was able to work part time and start over because of him and his choice to purchase life insurance 2 months before his accident.  He was just cancer free 10 yrs and now could use the work benefits.  

 

And I wrote this past yr on the 7th anniversary of his death that his love was so great for my son and me, that our hearts didn’t shatter but found a way to love, grow and see joy in the world again.  And we have. 

Happy birthday in heaven to Christine!  

 

Love CS Lewis. 

[trying2breathe]

Beautiful post, LF - thank you for sharing.  I feel much the same about honoring their memory by living our best life, and the gift of richer love and a deeper joy for life.  Congratulations on the new home, and Happy Birthday to Christine.  

[Julester3]

Thank you for sharing LF. Congrats on the house and the good fortune! I seem to have a feeling that in her way Christine is looking out for you.