Further frustrations

[Julester3]

Just when you think you have a handle on things, things get frustrating again. I finished my probate period on the house. Hello 20 months of BS! I get half of the house and each kid gets 25%. I have to pay out to them if I refinance or sell the house. The lawyer didn’t do the work on the cars so now I have to fill out more paperwork ie small day state affidavit and then the notary I went to said he couldn’t sign it? Never mind no instructions how to fill out that stupid form?

 

Then I got my furnace serviced this morning and it’s declining? The repair is already 1/3 the cost of replacing the whole damn thing but I’m not in the mood to shell out $9k for a new furnace. I know it’s old and it’s only going to get older and less efficient. 

 

I hate having to sit here and make these giant decisions by myself! So frustrated! With LH, I know we’d sit and play pros and cons but with the smaller salary that I make and the careful budgeting that I do, this totally sucks. I have to be more careful with how much and what we spend. I’m not sure we will keep the house past my second daughter graduating high school. I will have to downsize but I know I need certain things done to the house to sell it in the future. Le sigh! 

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

 

[Leadfeather]

It is very frustrating to no longer be able to solve problems as a couple. It sometimes felt to me like I was facing life with only half of myself.

 

Vent away.

[donswife]

So agree , It is so hard dealing with all these things big and small.

It gets overwhelming and the one person that was our sounding board and helped with these decision isn't here to help.

I agree with leadfeather "facing life with only half of myself"

 

good luck with the furnace and all the daunting paperwork !

 

[tybec]

Ditto what has been said. I will let other's make decisions now, like where to eat, what to watch, etc., as I am so tired of having it all on me all the time.  Took for granted that sounding board.   I am not apathetic, but want to relax.  I even don't like to drive all the time, and that was something I did all the time due to control issues.   And I would not drink for the longest time as what if my kid needed me?  I couldn't be under the influence!

 

Sorry about the expenses.  It is hard. My car is 9 yrs. old in May, and I hate to think about getting a new one.  I bought a house by myself, but to negotiate with a car salesperson? Holding off as long as I can.....

[Euf]

I’ve been widowed a bit over 12 years but still can find myself really lost when I have to figure out what to do.  I don’t have any interest in remarriage so I guess I have no one but myself to blame, but I sure do miss that second opinion when trying to make major decisions by myself.

I just had a new furnace put in last fall.  I think it was a good decision but what do I know?  I had some problems between what the contract said would be done and what was actually done.  I just kept hearing Jim’s voice telling me to  document it all, be calm and concise but quit letting them do the “oh don’t you worry your pretty little head about this” routine.

So I wrote a letter with documentation showing what was promised in the contract and what was actually done. I calmly mentioned the Better Business Bureau, contacting the state attorney general and contacting my local TV station and they soon called, apologized and made everything right.

I guess that was some sort of victory. But it is also just a reminder that I’m on my own here. So I just want to say I hear you, I understand, and am more than willing to commiserate.