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My husband didnt have a will. We didnt think we needed one being so young. But now there is a ton of things I need to do to get his part of the house in my name and a ton of other things. These things are so hard, I have to keep repeating to people that he died. Any advice from you all on how to get through these tough times. I am actually on my way to pick up his death certificates and its soo hard and I'm scared I am going to just bawl when I see them. 

 

 

 

 

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Melissa, this is so very hard.  I remember piles of paperwork to take care of and it felt like walking through wet concrete to try and get anything done.  Some days I just shuffled the stack of papers around and that was it.  Getting the death certificate is like a punch to the gut, it was very emotional for me.  Be easy on yourself, do just what is needed and if you are offered help with any of this, take it.  There are many here that understand this process, none of it is easy.  A big gentle ((hug)) to you 

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I cried when I got the death certificate. It just reminds you that it really truly happened. Since I was waiting on a full autopsy by the county, I had to wait 90 days to get it so I had to wait 90 days to do any business at all. That sucked.

 

You need to assess exactly what was in his name and find out what the laws are in your state. My husband had no will either however the house and cars were in his name. The cars were easy if you have the title or liens for the titles. I did a small estate affidavit and had to go to the DMV and pay for the transfers. The house however had to go through probate court and where I live you have to wait like 18 months after presenting at court to be sure there is no other possible person to stake a claim but yourself. Our accounts that had his name on it, I was able to change over by going to an office or bank. Just make a list and go through it. Then it will seem less overwhelming. Wait on the bank account last in case any check comes in his name so you can deposit it. I closed all his credit cards and I sent a death certificate to the credit bureaus so no one can use his SS or credit to purchase or open any accounts. Also don’t forget to go to social security for SSI benefits for your kids. They are eligible until they graduate high school. If they turn 18 before they graduate, they just need to turn in a form from the high school their intent to graduate so you can keep receiving SSI until they graduate. 

 

You can do this. It’s hard but just take it one task at a time. 

Edited by Julester3
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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't think there is an easy way to deal with it.  I have 15 copies of the death certificate.  I have used them for the mandatory and immediate things.  I am putting off things like student loans, ect, that I should deal with, but just can't yet.  I am trying to do 1 thing a week.

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 My husband has been gone for 6.5 years and I still haven't done all the paperwork - for example his name is still on a car, i never closed one of his accounts (long story)- you don't have to do it all at once.  Give yourself time and space when you need it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’m so sorry. My husband didn’t have a will either but I kept a lot in my name including the house. I hated and still hate looking at the death certificate although keep a few copies of it for you paperwork (and I initially needed when I travelled overseas with my son). One question - have you contacted social security yet for benefits? Wishing you all the best - echo the others...take one day and one task at a time. 

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Yea @ captains wife, I was able to get the benefits from social security started. And that's a relief. But everyday there is more to do. I have family and friends who I am grateful because they have helping me a ton. And of you guys have helped more than you will ever know.

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  • 6 months later...
On 4/5/2019 at 8:55 AM, Melissa brown said:

My husband didnt have a will. We didnt think we needed one being so young. But now there is a ton of things I need to do to get his part of the house in my name and a ton of other things. These things are so hard, I have to keep repeating to people that he died. Any advice from you all on how to get through these tough times. I am actually on my way to pick up his death certificates and its soo hard and I'm scared I am going to just bawl when I see them. 

 

 

 

 

Hi Melissa I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel about the paperwork and making phone calls and telling over and over my husband died. He also had no will. I hated opening up the mail!! The day I picked up his death certificates it was our 42nd Wedding Anniversary. I just lost it at the funeral home. Go ahead and cry you need to. The funeral man hugged me and asked me questions about my wedding day. He was very kind. Many Hugs to you and prayers

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  • 1 year later...

I found out after my husband passed if I had to remove his name for anything did that company need an original or a copy.  Things you learn as you go along.  For some they would take a copy.  Even after 14 years later I found that I needed an original death certificate pertaining to a real estate situation and I didn't have one.  So I had to request one before that situation could be taken care of.  Luckily, we did have a will.  Got it done 2 months before he passed.  This is something people don't like to do for various reasons.  

 

 

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