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laurie27

Getting Rid of His/Her Clothes

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Posted (edited)

A new memory project.  The photo is a 4X6 mounted in the cheapest frame available.  That frame is set into an 8X10 clear plastic box frame and surrounded by  her bling and beach stones which she collected.  Then everything is sealed with clear two part polymer epoxy.  She had been saving beach pebbles for a couple years and planned on doing a frame like this so I know she would love the result.

If someone wants to do this for me someday they'll use of photo of me fishing and surround it with some of my prettiest fishing lures.

 

bling-frame.jpg

Edited by Love2fish
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Love2fish, what a beautiful memory project. Thank you for sharing it with us. When I finish the memory quilt I will be sure to post it.

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It will be seven years very soon. Over that time, I have been donating or gifting his clothes as I am ready to say goodbye to them. It doesn’t feel like a drawn-out process, just life happening along. Today I am making rags out of some old t-shirts of his, because I am ready to breathe some new life into them. 

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Posted (edited)

Though I do believe your grief, your rules, there are some considerations.   MY brother widowed 14 months after me, March 2013. .  He waited the "acceptable" one yr. to get on line to date. He met a gal in 2015, Dec.  Proposed by Feb. and married in May of 2016.  Now due to his conservative religious beliefs, she never went to his home, where they chose to live. He had not gotten his late wife's things out of the closet.  He had not changed many things in the home, leaving it as is.  She, bless her heart, packed up the late wife's things and put them in the basement.  More things occurred and she left by March of 2017 and divorced.  I do not think my brother was ready to marry, or he was at the least, extremely inconsiderate of his new wife's needs and wants.  I am sure it was more complicated, but really.  So, if you decide to date and bring them home, I do not think you can have the home like your mate never died.  

MY two cents.

I did it gradually, purges, and then I moved, so that helped a lot.  My father had the belief that once it was no longer useful, time to let someone else have it. My LH would have thought the same.  I have things, but they are limited and very meaningful. ❤️ Our son will have them someday. 

Edited by tybec
dates, poor grammar
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45 minutes ago, tybec said:

So, if you decide to date and bring them home, I do not think you can have the home like your mate never died.

I agree completely. When I started seriously dating my current wife, I had a wedding picture of me and my previous wife in my living room. It made her uncomfortable and before long I took it down. Everyone's tolerance for such things will vary, of course, but I felt it was the right thing to do.

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Serpico- I love that you did this to show your future wife you were ‘all in’- very appropriate.

 

But OP is only a few months widowed, still deeply grieving, and this command came from her therapist- very inappropriate. 

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laurie27,

 

I hope I did not upset or offend you.  Bunny pointed out this topic was for a few months out, and she is correct.  You take the time you need.  Took me several years, and I moved at 5 1/2 yrs. out. I was at a much slower pace than many. 

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Tybec, you did not upset or offend me. This site, or more to the point, the people on this site have helped me so much! I don't think I could have gotten as far as I have without you guys. I had a counselor tell me to get rid of his clothes. I got rid of the jeans, shoes and non-cotton shirts. But I stopped at the cotton and flannel. I am going to make a quilt, but I am not ready yet...So I work on other things to keep my hands busy. Like my potholder project. They are little and I can get them done in about an hour or two. Unlike a whole quilt that can take a couple of months. Here, take a look, they are cheery!

 

potholders.jpg

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