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Bunny

Anniversaries close together

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My wedding anniversary was May 17th. I spent it at a wedding rehearsal dinner for bf’s relative and it was fine, I was fine, mostly. The anniversary of his death is June 11th. So... three and a half weeks between the day celebrating the beginning of our marriage and the day marking its end. 

 

Yes, it’s easier now. But still,  the in-between time of those two dates I catch myself feeling a little extra about everything. And I just... I’m ready for it to be June 12th already.

 

thanks for ‘listening’.  

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It is hard. I am sorry. I am looking forward to the day it won't be so hard, also.  My wedding anniversary is Dec. 29.  So, Christmas, my wedding date, NYE and then his death Jan. 20. Follow that by  Valentine's Day, and then his birthday.  The first Christmas with my son who was 9. HARD.   UGHG...... I actually told a friend I would not get married around that time. Christmas. She poo pooed it and did so, and I hope she realizes when it is her or her husband's time, it will be harder with the holidays.  😔 Anyway.

 

I understand. 

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Yeah, it seems so ‘fun’ to have things close together (my birthday is two days after wedding anniversary) until it’s not so much. You got a lot of landmines close together there,  tybec- yikes!  I’m grateful it’s gotten much easier to navigate these dates, I just get frustrated that it can make me feel... off-balance. Whether I pay attention or ignore it, it’s like a yappy dog tugging at my skirt! 

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OH, MY, BUNNY!  Your birthday, too?   Weddings. Yup, wedding season is hard for many.  And to be invited to so many weddings and then grieving your own anniversary.  There really is not a "GOOD" time, is there? 

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Her Birthday, Our Anniversary, and Valentine's Day all in the same week. Made it easy for me to remember the years we were together. Makes it easy for me to remember now that she is gone. 😥

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I can't imagine getting through Christmas this year. My LH birthday was Nov. 25th, my birthday is Dec. 24, obviously Christmas is the 25th and our anniversary is the 27th. My Christmas cookies were a big deal. I made Butter cookies with lemon curd filling and topped them with drizzled chocolate. My LH usually made the lemon curd and put the sandwiches together. I don't know if I can make them this year...or if I can even decorate the house. I don't have children to think about, so maybe I'll do nothing. I just don't know yet. Hugs to everyone...we all need them.

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@laurie27 I don’t have kids so I did completely skip over the holidays that first year, but I am very comfortable with solitude. I know some wids choose to go on a vacation to completely remove themselves, or keep busy by volunteering during the holidays. For now, just concentrate on your healing, no need to decide just yet ♥️  For me, it took about two years before I could successfully bake again. We just need to be patient with ourselves and keep our expectations of self loving and reasonable. 

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Thanks @Bunny, I am a quilter and I have been staying busy sewing. My concentration is not great so I work on charity work or my potholder project, since they are little. Cooking is very hard for me, so I know what you mean about the baking. Everyone on this site has given so much validation that what I am going through is normal and I'm not crazy. Thanks! 

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My "land mines" are all in April. April 1, Mick died. April 12 is our wedding anniversary. Then there is Easter (he died on Holy Thursday), which is always a reminder. Plus, I married a widower, whose late wife died March 27 and her birthday was April 16. All of those dates hit us in rapid fire succession. Not a fun time of year. It's too bad, since spring used to be my favorite time of year...

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Oh Bunny -I hear you. Hoping June 12th comes quickly for you... May is so tough on this end (and I’m crankier than usual this year lol). For me, it’s Mother’s Day, then 3 days later Sadiversary, then 2 weeks later wedding anniversary, then 2 weeks later Fathers Day.   

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Now I know why it's a good thing that could never remember birthdays or anniversaries!  I was immunizing myself from calendar torture. 

 

Have a happy June 12 Bunny

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And here I am. A bit of an emotional hangover today (which might be related to all the wine I drank). I visited his grave- which I rarely do because it’s in a different city and I don’t ever feel him there anyway- cleaned up his marker, planted some flowers. Had lunch with my bf and an old friend of mine and my husband. A widow friend called to acknowledge the day and also to tell me her daughter was in labor and would probably deliver that day- guess I’ll never forget that grandbaby’s birthday! Circle of life, indeed. 

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Late Husband's birthday, our wedding anniversary, and new guy's birthday are all in June, only a few days apart.  I think this is the first year I've remembered to buy a birthday card for NG.

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