Wedding anniversary

[Wheelerswife]

27 years ago tomorrow, I married my first husband, Barry.  I have been thinking of this date for a few days.  This will be the 10th anniversary that he hasn't been here. 10 years.  Can that be possible?  On top of that...the memories of this date are dominated by images of our last 2 anniversaries that we spent together.  Our 16th and 17th anniversaries were spent with him in critical condition in 2 different ICU's.  The first of those hospitalizations was the beginning of the end for him...severe bronchitis and Takotsubo cardiomyopathy...and the most intense fear I have ever felt in my life.  I almost lost him then.  16 months later, a much more simple respiratory infection would overwhelm his severely weakened body and he would give up the fight - deciding he no longer wanted intrusive intervention to try to stay alive.  I wish I could focus on other memories, but this tape loop that used to run constantly in my head just overrides my will.  Fortunately, I don't think about it as often as I used to, and the full technicolor of past memories has faded some.  Tomorrow will pass by...and I will move through the hours...and it will likely be another year before it takes my breath away again.

 

I miss you, darling.

 

Maureen

[Julester3]

Hugs Maureen!

[Bunny]

I’m sorry those memories are dominating right now. I hate it when all I can see is the sickness stuff, very frustrating. I am hoping you are able to have some happy memories today also.