Somedays are harder than others

[laurie27]

I'm pretty sure I am not alone, but lately (I am at 4 months) I am getting a lot of advice. A lot of reading said I shouldn't make major decisions about moving for about a year if I could stay in my present situation. Well, I have a 3 bedroom/2 bath house on 1/2 acre, I have someone take care of cutting the lawn, I/we always have. I am now getting advice that I should buy a riding lawn mower and start doing it myself. I have never, and I am 65, mowed a lawn. A lot of single (not just widows) women that feel I should start tackling big chores around the house. Staining the deck, power washing the house, mowing the lawn. I don't get it. I am also finding it depressing that these people think I should start doing all these things that I have never done. I feel more empowered making a quilt.

[Leadfeather]

Do what you want to do. They are not in your shoes and while they mean well they do not know your needs as well as you do. I sold my 5 bedroom house a few years after my wife died. She did most of the yard work because she had time to do so. I could not keep it up. I tried an apartment it was fun for a while but isolating. Then I bought a much smaller house since my kids are leaving or have left the nest. It is where my fiance and I will start our new chapter together. It is your life. Make a quilt if you want to and if you can afford it hire someone to do the stuff you can or don't want to do. Sell the house when you are ready or don't if you want to keep it. After being married for 25 years, it took me a while to adjust to doing what I wanted with my life without talking it out with my partner. Remember it is your life and there is no reason you can not live it as you choose. Your late husband would want you to live a life that brings you joy. Honor his memory by doing so.

Edited June 18, 2019 by Leadfeather

[laurie27]

Thank you for the affirmation Leadfeather. By the way, how is your fiancé? I thought about that trip to the E.R. that you had.

[Leadfeather]

She is doing very well. They do not know what caused all the dizziness but it seems to have passed.

[laurie27]

Great, I'm glad to hear she is doing well.

[Julester3]

Totally agree with Leadfeather on this. Why take on anything you don’t want to? I know I am capable of mowing but I don’t want to mow. There are no rules just what works for you and we are all different. I know I’m staying in my house until my youngest graduates and then I have to downsize. Our house is too expensive for up keep in the long term. It’s fine for now. Stick to your gut instinct here. It’s far better than outside advice people love to give! 

[BrokenHeart2]

Ditto to LF and J3 said.  They may mean well but it really is not any of their business unless you asked them for their opinion.  If you didn't, why do they even care.  In my early days I found people close to me thought they could just say things to me they never would have said if DH was here.  I found it bothersome and weird.  At the same time I do remember that early on I was emotionally thin skinned whereas now I just ignore them.  Happy quilting!! 

Hugs

[Widower40]

Think of your life like a business.  Anything you are not good at or want to do...outsource it.  

[MR]

Do what makes you feel better and don't worry what people say or think. 

Hugs

Manoj