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Hello Everyone!

 

I am new and lost my Husband of 31 years on 2/6/19 at 57 to Pancreatic Cancer. He passed after 6 weeks of being diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. 

 

I feel My grief is worse now then when he first passed almost 6 months ago. I guess I wanted to join for some help going through this. I thought I could do it alone and be ok but now not so sure of that. 

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{Hugs} I am so sorry for your loss. I thought I could go it alone too... and almost 14 years later I still remember clearly when I lost the initial numbing ability and wondered how I could keep going with the stark grief. But with help I did and you will too. I am so glad you reached out. Be gentle with yourself and your grief. {Hugs again}

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Hi, Peg.

 

 I’m sorry to have to welcome you too our club. Losing a spouse is incredibly difficult, and it just doesn’t automatically start getting better after a few months. I’m sorry you lost your beloved husband. It has been 10 years since I lost my first husband and 5 1/2 years since I lost my second husband. My experience with 2 losses was very different. It is only recently that I have begun to feel like I can build my life again. Just know that whatever you are feeling is very normal. I have relied on my widow friends for support through both of my losses. You don’t have to do this alone.

 

Hugs to you, 

 

Maureen

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Hi peg,

My husband passed from rectal cancer in march. He was 41. It's been four months and I feel worse now than I did in the beginning. I think I was in so much shock that I didnt feel the pain I do now.

So i think you are normal in feeling this way. I am glad you found this forum. It has really helped me. I dont post alot but I come just about everyday to read. It comforts me knowing I'm not alone. Although,  I wish none of us had to be here. Hugs.

Melissa

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Hi Peg, I am sorry to welcome to a club no one wants to join. I also lost my husband in February and I agree with Melissa that once the shock wears off it hurts in a different way. I'm not sure if it hurts, just differently. 

 

I also feel that coming to this forum has helped me a lot in feeling that what I am experiencing is normal. Don't forget to take care of yourself, keep yourself hydrated, and give yourself a big hug.

Laurie

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Sorry that you are here, Peg, but I think that you will find a welcoming group of people here that can relate to what you're going through.  In my earliest days, the predecessor to this site was my lifeline.  You don't need to go through this alone, plenty of us can relate to how you are feeling. 

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I think many of us start to think we can do this alone but it’s a good place to have a sounding board, a reality check, and a safe environment to share thoughts or questions with those who are going through this as well. I found many people around me not moving at my pace anymore so it’s a comfort knowing this place is here. Take is easy and be kind to yourself. 

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Thanks Everyone for you words and support. I really appreciate it!

 

What are some things you do to help get you through the days when grieving seems to keep coming?

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Peg, honestly I cry and spend alot of time at the cemetery on hard days. I also talk to people who are close to me. And I pick up the kids and we go do something. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't .. I also come here alot to look around and I usually find something that makes me feel better. 

Grieving sucks. I never ever thought it would hurt this much. Stay strong.

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I use distraction. I have music or tv on and then I crochet, sew or scrapbook. I concentrate on what I’m doing so my mind doesn’t go that dark path. I literally distract myself every day. Work is just another form of distraction. 

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Hi Peg, I quilt. (I say it that way, since I don't know how to make clothes). Since my concentration is not the greatest, I use all of that at work (I own my own business). So, I do charity work, a lot of it. Like Julester3 said, it is a distraction. For at least a little while the most important thing in my world is "Is that a straight stitch?" It helps me get through some really tough times. And like Melissa said, I cry and because of that, don't forget to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Take care of yourself. 

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Peg   In the early days I did a lot of journaling - wrote letters to him and put down my deepest thoughts on how I was feeling.  I got a special binder and pen just for this, and set aside time in the early evening to write.   My concentration wasn't really there, but writing was something that I could do.    

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  • 3 months later...
On 7/22/2019 at 5:49 PM, Peg said:

Hello Everyone!

 

I am new and lost my Husband of 31 years on 2/6/19 at 57 to Pancreatic Cancer. He passed after 6 weeks of being diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. 

 

I feel My grief is worse now then when he first passed almost 6 months ago. I guess I wanted to join for some help going through this. I thought I could do it alone and be ok but now not so sure of that. 

Hi Peg, I'm also new to this forum I joined today. I'm very sorry for your loss of your beloved husband. I lost much beloved husband of 42 years on June 23,2019. I also started feeling worse a couple months ago than I did in the beginning. My counselor told me it's cause the shock has worn off and reality has sunk in. This is normal evan though our lives are changed forever. I recommend bereavement groups. Your not alone I know it's incredibly hard. Your in my prayers!

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