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I am nearing two year mark since my husband died. I had my first date this weekend and it went much better than I expected, although the nerves were still there. I’m hoping for a second date, but two questions come to mind as I patrol this new water...

1) when do you tell the person you’re dating that you are widowed? I don’t want to just blurt it out, but I do want want to be open about it.

2) when do you tell your former spouses parents you’re dating? I have a great relationship with my in-laws, but I know that whenever I do tell them, it will be very hard on them. I know they’ll be supportive, but I believe they’ll still struggle with it.

 

Thoughts?

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My status of "widowed" was in my online dating profile so, for me, that information was known by all of the women I went out with right up front. I don't know, maybe just play it by ear and when the subject of previous relationships comes up with NG, and it will if you go out a few more times,  that may be the right time. I told my late wife's parents I was dating soon after I started. I had a very positive response from them. 

 

Good luck, Mike

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stawcie   I had the same questions as I started dating, at a similar time frame out as you.   If I thought that it was a relationship worth pursuing, I told him two to three dates in that I was widowed.  Some dates I didn't tell - but I knew those relationships weren't long lasting anyway and I didn't want to take the energy to have that conversation.   It took me awhile to tell my in-laws that I was dating, although they told me early on that they hoped I would find somebody else. I just didn't feel like sharing the details of my dating life with them. and I was pretty sure that my MIL would want the details.  LOL   

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It always seemed to come up on either the first or second date. I always got the wondering question why I was currently single. Some guys wanted to see if we’d have a commiserating commanlity like divorce , etc between our situations. I am pretty sure I put it in my dating profile but I don’t exactly remember where it was stated in the actual profile. 

 

I told my FIL and his wife quite soon after I started and they were supportive. The stories cracked them up. I haven’t told my MIL and her husband. We’re keeping our distance and I’m not sure how they take it. 

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My dating profile also had my widowed status listed.  As for my in-laws?  After my husband passed I didn't have much of a relationship with them so whatever they thought, I could careless.  In fact they were not the nicest people.  About 6 years after my husband passed I met a great guy.  He's also widowed.  We've been together 6 years now.  My 2 sisters-in-law met him last year.  They knew I was with someone as my daughter had told them.  The older one was cordial but the one I always had problems with was a real BIT**.  Wouldn't even acknowledge me much less him.  Our families and friends are happy for us.  We plan on selling our places, buying our own place and move out of state to a warmer climate.  We live in the midwest.  We're both happy and isn't that what counts?

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