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DBL21

Missing my sidekick

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My lovely husband passed away 4 and a 1/2 months ago, he was 35, we were together for 17 years and the loneliness I’m feeling is unbearable, we had such a happy life together and 2 beautiful children, even on our darkest days through his sickness (3yrs) we still laughed and joked, not every day was easy but having him lying beside me every night was enough to get me through it, it feels like everyone has moved on from him and I get it that peoples lives have to go on but I feel like screaming sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here, I guess I’m just angry that my life feels so empty without him and everyone else is just getting on with it 

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That kind of loneliness sticks to us. I sort of don’t like Facebook anymore because I see everyone else going on with their lives and I constantly feel like I’m running in slow motion or if I’m in my own bubble. I’m 3 years 8 months out and I feel that was often though generally my outlook is better and the pain has softened for me. I totally understand. Hugs! 

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely husband and the pain you're experiencing.  I remembering thinking.....how can I possibly be in all this pain and still be alive.  I was so upset that everyone else's live went on when my world had come to a screeching halt.  My sister was very empathetic and I loved her for that, but she still didn't understand that when she went home, her family was still in tact while mine had a huge gaping hole.  It's a loneliness and a pain only others that have walked in our shoes can understand.  Be gentle with yourself and feel what you feel.  And keep coming here.  We get it.  We understand.  And we're here to listen, comfort and encourage you when you need it.

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I am so sorry you had to become part of this club.  I am 1 year and 8 months out from the darkest moment in my life, when my husband passed away after a 2 year battle with cancer.  I can be in a room full of people and still feel so lonely.  Sometimes when I see an older or elderly couple walking and holding hands or just out dining together and having what appears to be a nice time, I  either get so angry or want to burst into tears.  Why did they get to spend their lives with their loved one but yet my husband and I were cheated out of doing the same?  What did we do to deserve this??  I think everyone on this board knows the anger and emptiness you are feeling.  It is just not fair!!!!!!  I am sorry that I don't have any wise advice for you...I am still stumbling through each day too.  But as StillWidowed said, we all, unfortunately, understand.

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