And it is okay to just be right now......

[tybec]

THIS is from a post on FB. I have been home for 6 weeks, working part time, and it is slow going.  And I have accomplished some things at home, but not anything compared to what I think I "should" have given the time I have.  But I am a mental health clinician. I work with folks struggling.  And I have a teen at home. We are all dealing with things we never would have considered. Unprecedented.  I have had to reframe my work I do with kids on telehealth as it is not clear cut with meeting the goals and objectives we define, mostly for insurance, right?  Some sessions are a tour of the backyard and their rooms.  It's the best we can do in the circumstances.  I thought this was a valuable thing for me to remind myself of, and likely, others. 

 

 

 I’ve been seeing so many friends seriously beating themselves up because they aren’t “maximizing” their time in quarantine by organizing their closets, repainting, developing a side hustle, becoming a piano virtuoso, exercising themselves into a lucrative career as a swimsuit model, etc.

Everybody! Seriously. Stop. And breathe. If you’re feeling adrift, there’s a reason. I’m about to drop some first semester nursing school on y’all. It’s Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Humans have basic requirements (the bottom of the pyramid) like food, water, air, shelter, sleep, etc. The biological basics. If those are met, then the next rung of the ladder is Safety and Security. If we feel safe and secure, then we can climb up and start on our Love and Belonging needs and on up the ladder we go until finally at the very tippy-top is SELF-ACTUALIZATION which would entail all of the cool aforementioned activities. The catch is, you cannot level up until the needs at the current level are fulfilled. If the needs remain unfulfilled, we remain stuck on our current level until the situation changes.

Friends, in the midst of a pandemic, we are dwelling in the basement of Maslow’s pyramid. How in the heck do you think you’re going to kick ass at the highest levels when we can’t even find toilet paper for Pete’s sake.

You physiologically and psychologically aren’t built to live your “best life” right now. Your only job is to live “a life” right now. A luxury that is being denied many which increases the pressure to really make every day count.

But listen.

Every day you are here counts.
Every breath you take counts.
Are you eating, drinking water, and sleeping at all these days? If so, that is a triumph right now.

Cut yourself ALL THE SLACK. Focus on the bottom level. Are you showering? Eating a vegetable once in a while? Getting some sunshine and fresh air? Keeping some semblance of a sleep schedule?

Start there. And be extra gentle and abundantly gracious with yourself. We’ll get through this. And right now, getting through is absolutely enough.

I love you all. Hang in there. ❤️

XXOO,
Rachel

 

 

 

[Virgo]

My husband always said that I was ass backwards with everything.  I need the projects to keep my mind preoccupied so that I take care of my basic needs too. Otherwise I get down, depressed, and don't function well at all. I'm very physically motivated during my grieving too. We're all different. 

[tybec]

Virgo, 

 

I so wish I could keep busy like you.  I started out strong and did some projects and then fizzled out.  I think 6 weeks with another 4 or more predicted is when I hit the wall. Maybe I'll get back some motivation. Until then, this writing hit home and likely, to many.  Keep up the projects, as it is a good stress relief.

[Virgo]

I'm sort of to the point of fizzling out. I completely understand. The weather here has been rainy and gloomy. We're supposed to have some sunshine tomorrow and Monday. Hopefully that will make me more motivated. Tentatively, I'll be returning to work May 2nd. We'll find out for sure Monday. I live in Indiana. Michigan and Illinois have already extended their stay at home orders beyond the 2nd.

[trying2breathe]

Thanks so much for posting this, tybec.   I started out motivated and project oriented and also have fizzled out.  Lately it's an effort to keep food on the table and a tidy house.  I'm lucky to have a dog that needs walking every day, it's been my sanity lately.  Hope you are okay these next few weeks, its good to check in with each other and feel support.  Thanks! 

[BrokenHeart2]

Great post T and thread! I've been on the computer all day for work (during the week) and had no motivation for anything else. Even eating was a chore and for me that's odd. Weather was nice yesterday and my body needed to do work.   Must say if felt really good.  Today..... not so much LOL.  With this isolation and the crappy weather I think we're all feeling it for sure.

[Captains wife]

Great post - I did have some guilt about this a while ago as I’ve given up my workouts amongst other things that needed to get done. But recently I’m just trying to get through each day given my heavy work schedule and homeschooling an 8 yr old at the same time! And making sure we have enough food and other items. And I don’t feel guilty about the rest- I do feel like I’m in full on day by day survival mode right now   : ) 

[RyanAmysMom]

Just posted this to my FB page...  have several friends who needed to hear and see this......  (maybe even me....)  

Every day I've gotten out of bed and thought I should go work in the yard .. or clean out the garage...... and then I don't......  because...........I just don't.  

And I am frustrated with myself..... but this probably helps me understand what's going on in my brain... Thanks for sharing!

[BlueSky]

Love this - thank you for sharing and a real reminder of why I am NOT at my most productive!

 

[Euf]

I recently read somewhere that one should keep a pandemic journal.

 

I guess we are all to be Samuel Pepys and the journal may be our claim to fame. Even if we can’t be a reality TV star or an internet celebrity, maybe we can still be famous someday. Famous at least to the future generations reading about great-great grandma during the pandemic

 

Or it might have been suggested by someone just trying to get air-time. Trying to keep themselves relevant. Trying to find a crack they can widen until they become a household name.

 

I might be cynical. Maybe it was kindly suggested as a way to help us keep things in perspective. For some of us, writing about things is a way to understand. A way to work through things. A way to gain control when times are out of control. Maybe that is why they suggested a journal but if so, those of us that write don’t need to be told to write. For everyone else it is just one more thing on the to-do list. One more way we aren’t living up to our potential. One more judgement in an era of being judged.

 

There are so many worthwhile things I could be doing. Free online concerts, free virtual tours of locations I will never get to actually visit, museums and classes and concerts. It makes me tired thinking about it all.

 

 

I am sleeping in late. (In the world of the newly retired, that means I am still waking at 5AM but staying in bed until 7AM). I am reading books. (sometimes in bed between 5AM and 7AM). I am puttering around in the yard. I am trying to stay in contact with the people I care about.

That seems to be enough for me.

[Lopez]

Boredom is certainly hitting me right now, and I am having a difficult time staying motivated to to anything. However I have quite a few things coming my way that will keep me busy in a few weeks. Thanks for the post.