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StillWidowed

My Little Rant.....

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So I've dipped my toes back into the online dating crap...I mean thing.  I swear it gets worse each time I try it.  The guys get uglier and my patience gets lost in the need to literally reach thru the screen and slap them upside their head.  I live in the ugly capital of the state!  Ok, northeast......eh face it, United States.   It's literally a standing joke around here.  I take care of myself, why aren't they? Damnit, teeth ARE required!  So my last few dates consisted of a guy that told me I was guarded (ummm yeah, I was afraid you were going to try and pants me at the table, you aggressive shit), another guy that seemed nice, but when he asked if he could kiss me, and I said no, that was that.  Hey, I like to take things slow and we're in the middle of a pandemic!  Elbow bumping for now!  The third date asked if we could go into a dark mall parking lot and make out.  I instantly saw my face on the 11:00 news.  Now do you understand why I told bachelor #2 no kiss?  I've been informed by family and friends that I should have started a journal long ago because I'd be a millionaire by now.  Laura Clery ain't got nuttin' on me.  It's been kinda quiet in here, so I thought I would post.  I could say a whole lot more, get even more politically incorrect, but I fear retribution from those people that actually met and married thru online dating.  Oy vey!

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I feel for you! That’s how it was for me when I started and it’s disheartening to have simple motivation to keep going when you start collecting crazy and unbelievable stories. It made feel like am I being unreasonable for having some set expectations? It made me wonder often if it was worth it. Finding the right person does  make it worth it. But dang, if the journey is no freaking fun, it’s hard to see any sort of finish line! 

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I'm sure it is much more difficult for women than men on the dating sites. StillWidowed, I, of course, don't know what sites you are using but are there any specialized dating websites that cater to your interests or faith or?? ? You may have better luck. 

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Hi Portside.  Hope you're doing well.  For this area, unfortunately, it's the same people over and over on many different dating sites.  I usually use the free ones since it was the same people on those as the paying sites in the past, but decided to check out Match again to see if maybe there might be some different people now.  Nope.  Same people as on the free sites.   I do believe it's tougher as a woman, especially one that has standards and knows what she wants.  Blah blah blah...... put all that aside for a minute and just have fun and date and not take it seriously.  Right?  But like Julester wrote "if the journey is no freaking furn, it's hard to see any sort of finish line".  These guys, I've noticed lately, are REALLY aggressive!  Maybe it's been all the no contact stuff with COVID and they've got to get their groove on.  So I think right now it's just making the weeding that much harder and my back really hurts!  And let's face it.  I ain't gettin' any younger.  I've got a good life, just get lonely for companionship sometimes <sigh> 

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I feel you StillWidowed. I did 3 months on Zoosk which was recommended for my age and a good site.  I shared a bit here back then, and I am still incredulous.  

 

I am a Christian and mean it. I attend church, have a girls group I lead, and I go to a  bible study.  So, no secrets about my faith and activities.  

And I swear the men never read my profile. 

I had a  dick pic sent to me while at church.  🙄

I had a guy who just talked to me casually, and we had some common folks on FB.  Then he one morning text and wanted a picture and asked how I masturbated.

I had the guy speak to me on the phone and then text right after how he wanted me in his bed. 

I had the guy I spoke to off and on a month.  Never committed and no flirty stuff and I bowed out to too many red flags, and then he creeped me with 20 texts in a row.  And contacted me a month later to have lunch as he was in the same city. We never went out, and he was all upset with me. 

I know, nothing like some of your stories or others, but I got off the site and have not jumped in again.  

I did Christian Mingle with my first try and met a guy that I shared about on here.  Didn't work.

My brother 16 yrs. my senior has all kinds of ladies.  

I may look into a professional site next go round. I think profile pics with hats, sunglasses, on a motorcycle or red sports car or bathroom shots shirtless are just ridiculous for us in our 50s.  

Waiting for my Boaz.....

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After reading all the crazy stories about the dating sites I still haven't worked up the nerve to join..... even with this isolation :)

 

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Ugh - I’m starting to look again at online dating since my post widow relationship didn’t work out. I was aggressively jumping into online dating a few years ago...now I just don’t want to go through this online game playing again. Maybe older and wiser....Guess that also means I’m not ready yet. Especially during COVID! Do people wear masks on their dates? And guys demand kisses in the middle of an epidemic? Ugh 

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Y'all are much more popular on dating sites than I was. 

I did round up dates every now and then. Current Partner is someone I met on Craig's List. There was one guy who wanted to make out  - and only make out. One man wanted a new home, a muse and a lover. (He was homeless. And dating. Didn't realize he had bigger fish to fry.) 

With Covid, I can't even imagine. I wasn't one who wanted to ruminate endlessly or have a pen pal. I wanted to go out on a date or three and see if there was any attraction. I guess it would make sense to meet and have coffee and ask a lot of questions about what each of you expect so no one's wasting his or her time. 

 

Met Current pre-Covid. We had messaged each other for a couple weeks owing to one of us going out of town, the other one sick, it was over the holidays and we were busy. We met, the attraction was instantaneous, and we spent 40 minutes making out in my car in the parking lot where we met. Maybe I'm not a good example.

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Sorry to hear this Captain's Wife.  I was wondering how things were going with you.  I know you had posted things were dicey.  Navigating post widowhood relationships can be a challenge.   I'm ok with dating right now.  I figure if I can go to work, go to church, go to stores, I can meet someone and have a bite to eat.  Just don't try to stick your tongue down my throat.  

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