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Old pictures of my LH are now new


tybec
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I was given a gift of the picture presentation put together for my late husband's funeral.  It is a digital photo frame.  I never got it out of the box. I could not bear to look at it as it was from his funeral.  I barely put the pictures together, others did, as he died on a Friday and Sunday was the visitation.  Quick.

So, I got it out. After a broken relationship post my LH's death, I decided I wanted it out for my son, and maybe me, too. It has been 8 1/2 years.  I took most pictures of LH down when I started to date. I decided that was not fair to my son, who was 8 at the time of LH's  death, 12 when I started dating.  

I cried initially upon putting it out. It is a collage of pics from his baby years to our dating in HS, his military years, church youth years,   wedding to many of him with our son.  

I think I could not put it out and that was unfair to my son to be stripped of precious photos of his father. And now it is out and my son just turned 17! 

I feel good about it. 

I decided if recoupling is to occur and I can handle all their baggage/history, they can handle a photo frame with my LH and our history. And if divorced, still managing their stuff present and future. It is a trade off I feel is worthy. For me but mostly for my son.  

Going on 9 years and still dealing with it all. 

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Good for you for putting the photo collage out, I'm sure your son appreciates it. And you are right if you date someone they have to accept you as you are, with your history.

 

I found a photo of my husband when he was 18 and in the Navy, it was in a box of things from his parents that he never wanted to go through, it gives me a measure of peace whenever I see it, so I put it in my sewing room. Take care of yourself tybec.

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  • 1 month later...

I've never really changed the pictures that were out. they are my story line. I like the idea that you now feel that if you can handle another person's history they should be able to handle yours.

I am very much a picture person. Notice my tag line is a picture. To me they say so much. I took alot even before digital was available and I still take a lot now. I don't easily erase them either. They are a record of my life and I am not going to make parts of my life disappear,  I dated a guy on and off  for 3 years after my husband died ,before I met the guy I'm with now. I haven't erased those picture from that time period. 

I think especially with your son being the age he is it is important to have the visual reminders.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 9/15/2020 at 10:56 AM, tybec said:

I decided if recoupling is to occur and I can handle all their baggage/history, they can handle a photo frame with my LH and our history. And if divorced, still managing their stuff present and future. It is a trade off I feel is worthy. 

I'd like to suggest a change of linguistics.

"Baggage" is stewing over a divorce that occurred 25 years ago. Having a marriage and being divorced or widowed should be referred to as "having a life."

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  • 1 month later...

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