Whom do I love?

[Nolagirl]

My husband was like Jekyll and Hide - sometimes amazing, sometimes abusive. I was alone for 12 years, partially because I really did not want to experience this again and I did not trust anyone. Now I have been with a wonderful guy for 5 months and he is great. However, sometimes I have these crying, panic fits when I miss my husband in the same way I did those 12 years ago. And I don't understand why. I have not cried for him for years and years. I was fine till I started dating this guy and somehow it brings back all the feelings of desperate loss. I should be happy and most of the time I am. Then something happens when I think "oh my husband did this better" and I lose it. 

 

Is it normal? Should I see a psychologist? Is he not the right guy? Will I love my husband forever and nobody else? I am really confused why I feel this way.

[PaulZ]

I think if you really care about the new man in your life and you would like to see the relationship continue and develop, it would be a good idea to see a psychologist to help you sort out these feelings.  It will be hard for your new guy to understand your feelings if you can't express to him why you have these feelings.  Hopefully this means it is someone who you can envision getting to know better and developing something great with!  Good luck!

[Julester3]

It could be that you need to process this with a counselor. It sounds like you're having a reaction because now that you are seeing someone, it's sort of coming out. Good luck!