rooshy Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 My friend thinks that I should sign up for Christian Mingle. It has been four years since Matt's death and I would like to "get out" there again, but I am anxious, mainly because I don't know who's out there and I haven't had a first date since 1996 . If you've done this, do you have any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I have neither advice, not experience in this matter. However, I did want to take a moment to say: "good for you" I believe that we are not only bound the common experience of widowhood, but more importantly, we succeeded at marriage. We make good partners... It's what we do. So I say give it a try... and have fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverthesame Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 rooshy, I used ChristianMingle and it worked very well for me. I met some nice, normal women. My suggest would be to communicate only through the ChristianMingle email and not give out any personal information (full name, personal email, phone number, etc.) until you're convinced that the person you're communicating with is on the up and up. If they give out there full name early on you can do a google search and sometimes verify some of the information that they give you about themselves. I actually married someone that I met on ChristainMingle. We communication through the site for about three week before we went out. Even at that I didn't get her last name, phone number, or where she lived until about our third or fourth date. In my opinion, you just be selective about who you talk to and then be careful and guarded until you feel comfortable that they are what they say they say they are. I know that even that is not a 100% guarantee, but it helps a lot. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I was on Christian Mingle for awhile. I found they had pretty good people, but don't make the mistake of thinking that they don't have scammers and low-lifes, as they do (until they get reported). Mostly, in my part of the world, there just weren't that many people and it did not take that long to go through the possibilities. I find that there are more Christians on match.com than on Christian Mingle in my area. Bill's right about self-care. Only do what feels safe and do it at your pace. If you like to talk to people before meeting in person, you can ask for their number and call it with Caller ID blocking. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maybenot Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I say go for it! I signed up on Match and met my current bf. He is the first guy I communicated with and met - and we just celebrated our one year anniversary tonight! I don't know where it will go, but I am very happy and blessed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Must admit the whole on line dating thing just creeps me out. OMG how times have changed since I was single. Uhg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I think a lot of this stuff varies by city. In my part of the world, POF tends to be blue collar, OKCupid tends toward white. I found more scams on Senior People Meet. I would guess, and it's only a guess, that scammers think someone who can pay for a dating service is more likely to have money he or she can be scammed out of. I had a meet-and-greet with one poor fellow who said the Christian dating site he tried was the worst of the lot. Go figure. Keep your guard up. Be careful. If someone gives you the creeps, don't worry about being polite, walk away, literally. The one time I didn't was the one time I worried a little for my safety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooshy Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 Well, I put my info online and apparently no man in the entire state of Ohio wants to speak to me. One dude in Georgia sent me a smile, but he's in Georgia and older than what I'm looking for. It's only been a week but I'm not holding out hope. Maybe Mr Rooshy#2 is not yet ready for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Sounds to me like this site is better than all the others. When I first joined a free site I got so many requests from guys who wanted to send me pictures of their junk. I have been on dating sites for awhile. Still don't have it down. My first part is the first communication part. Getting these guys to type more than "hello" or "how are you tonight" is like pulling teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Well, I put my info online and apparently no man in the entire state of Ohio wants to speak to me. One dude in Georgia sent me a smile, but he's in Georgia and older than what I'm looking for. It's only been a week but I'm not holding out hope. Maybe Mr Rooshy#2 is not yet ready for me. Quite likely they're not ready. Remember, these people are afraid of rejection, too. I tried the free ones, and had a few dates. I did the Craig's List thing, and it was entertaining. You can try it, too. No need to answer anyone who responds to your ad. i think it's fine to practice one's profile writing skills. And remember, (was it posted here right after this board was created?) writing about what and who YOU ARE is more helpful to making a match than a list of what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I have done ALOT of online dating - that was how I met my late husband in fact. I am dating someone now I met on Match.com. Admittedly, it takes some time to get used to. Wanted to pass along some advice. I have never used Christian Mingle but have used literally every other online dating service in my area. Spend time filling out your profile and make sure you have some good, recent pics up there. Part of it is about marketing yourself...seriously. Dont get discouraged, it takes a while to find good matches. What I found when I jumped back into online dating 1.5 years after my husband died is that I really used it to feel more connected to the world generally, and just casually dating. I went on alot of bad dates and met some real odd-balls but I also met some really great men too - that gave me confidence that there was a match out there for me. Make sure you are wary of any scammers - ie. look for badly written profiles, with really bad spelling, matches that come on really strong at the beginning. Before I went out on dates, I usually had a telephone call with them but NEVER gave out my number, I asked them for their number and called with my number blocked. At the beginning, I just went out with a number of guys who werent "my type" just to get my feet wet and see who migh pique my interest. I tended to let the guys make the first move but I did "wink" or "like a photo" sometimes and they guys did sometimes follow up. I used more than one online dating service because when I tried eHarmony, it matches the men up for you and my matches were TERRIBLE. Dont forget there are lots of fish in the sea - it just takes a little work to find the right matches/best ones. Wishing you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissinGrizz Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 My brother met his wife on EHarmony; my mom met her partner of six years on Match; my sister dating a bunch of scumbags on Match and POF. It's all about luck and screening and location. Good luck and congrats on making this step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 If you've done this, do you have any advice? Well, I wasn't on Christian Mingle but I met my now wife on a faith-based dating site. I had a great experience and thoroughly enjoyed the women I met through that site. Here's my two cents: - Approach all possible dates with an open mind. - If you have a 'must have' list, make sure it makes sense. For example, if you've decided a potential partner must be a runner, is that truly an important point? What if besides that, he is a kind, wonderful, loving man? - When you meet, don't tell your entire life story. Let it be revealed over a number of dates. - Don't be misled by either 'we have so much in common' or 'we have nothing in common'. Our personal interests come and go over time and can change. What I think is truly important is shared character traits and 'heart'. Does his match your's reasonably closely? - How does he talk about his former relationship(s)? Is he bitter or wallowing in a loss? Is he ready for a relationship? Are you? - Have fun! I had fun on every outing, even though some women I went out with were not a match for me. You can learn something from each one. - Since you've been out of the dating pool for a while, do a practice date if you can. I hadn't dated in over 20 years. A good friend of mine suggest we do a practice run. She set it up with an unavailable good friend of her's. It was terrifying but I highly recommend it. It helps to calm the inevitable jitters you are going to have when you do the real thing. That's all for now - I may have more later. Good luck - Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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