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Once again, ladies and gentlemen... the F*** YOU thread


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Guest TooSoon

Hi!  I've posted this before but I'm having trouble going to sleep tonight so I thought it might help if I just typed out the words again:  I HATE MY STUPID, EFFING JOB.  Thanks for that.

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Guest TormentedTwoStep

Eff all of the following-

 

  • My dad, when told of a very positive meeting I had with my new very demanding boss responded, "Good! Maybe this will finally snap you out of all this and you'll straighten up and live again.
     
    Being alone, broken and ruined, yet wanting to be in love again so badly I can taste it, but seemingly undateable in my current mental and physical state.
     
    Chapter 2 "love" that promise the moon, then move on and break hearts that are already badly bruised by widowhood.
     
    Being over two years out and feeling like a failure at this second chance at life.
     
    Being depressed, trapped by my own mind, feeling dried up and useless, and ready to join my bride.
     
    The loss of all hope and joy-just being done and wanting out.
     
    Not being touched or held intimately in well over a year and feeling like I'm suffocating
     
    My so called life.

 

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In a conversation with another widow yesterday, we were talking about anger & how widowhood takes us to places where you never thought you'd go. For me, swearing is one of those places. My husband would be completely shocked to hear me at times now, especially as I had never considered saying the F-word before his death. While I rarely do now, it runs thru my head frequently as I'm just so done with this experience. Someone posted this video on facebook the other day and I couldn't help to relate to the bird. Clearly I'm in the anger stage again....

 

WARNING: Not for listening to at work or with children around!!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5ZYmvx796s

 

Can anyone else relate?

 

 

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FUCK! I hate Friday afternoons. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuckin hate it. Sorry, at a new client and had to let it out. They don't know that I am messed up yet. So I have been biting my tongue as the end of the week drew near. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Friday evenings fucking suck. :-\

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If my Kenneth were alive today, this would be his absolute favorite thread of all. When he was alive, he liked nothing more than swearing, and while I have always been too ladylike to curse, he absolutely loved dropping the f-bomb into conversation as often as possible. If I ever get to really missing him, I can always come here and imagine him reading these posts out loud, and it usually makes me smile. (Sorry you all have reasons to take out frustrations, but reading all your swearing is really therapeutic for me).

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Fuck that my Dad is very sick suddenly and delusional. Fuck that he is in the hospital. Fuck siblings that don't understand me. Fuck being so damn alone after losing DH and Mom, and now terrified of losing Dad. Fuck wanting to just lie down & die instead of fighting anymore. FUCK Dad's new girlfriend!!!!!

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Guest TooSoon

OMG.  Here's a reminder to everyone not to be too careful.  Being too careful seems to have some prices.  WTF?  Where did I go wrong? 

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The dog took my girl scout cookies. >:(

 

I could really use a cookie this morning and have no idea where the dog hid them; she doesn't eat 'em. No need to swear in here as I am at home and was able to let loose on a nice tirade.

 

In other news, my sports car continues its streak of bad luck. The first incident was that it rolled off a hill into a tree. In the exhaustion after a 100 hour work week I forgot to set the parking brake and put it in gear. I was so distraught that Mrs. C had to handle the details. It took nine weeks to repair, whereas I had only had it for seven weeks prior to the accident. A few weeks after my wife died, the car was hit by a Presbyterian center bus. This was after I had turned to religion. I remained composed that time and was actually consoling the bus driver. The latest was that a rat took up residency while I let it sit through the winter. Will find out more on the extent of the damage come Monday. More or less taking it in stride.

 

Fuck this life, where I now have perspective that damage to my nicest possession isn't that big of a deal; and where little things, such as not having a small comfort food, can push me over the edge.

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Fuck this life, where I now have perspective that damage to my nicest possession isn't that big of a deal; and where little things, such as not having a small comfort food, can push me over the edge.

 

Mr C....You have just summed up my life perfectly. It is amazing how much I can relate to this one statement.

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F*** the doctors, who ignored my medical problems for two years, claiming everything was caused by "anxiety"; because, everyone knows widows/widowers are too fragile to handle life, right? I even had a mild stroke, which some doctors claimed was just an anxiety attack, even though it left me with left side weakness, asymmetry in my facial muscles, and cognitive problems that I struggle with almost 10 months later.

 

Thankfully, I now have a really good neurologist and primarily care physician, who actually listen and both say that my problem is not anxiety. They also both verify that, yes, I did indeed have a stroke. It feels good to have the validation that I am not crazy; but it makes me so frustrated to know that, if doctors had listened to me in the first place, and not assumed my migraines and sleep issues were just anxiety, I might have received medical treatment sooner and not had the stroke in the first place.

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Guest TormentedTwoStep

F@ck that I had some happiness and love in this widowed life inky to have the rug pulled out from under me.

F@ck her and the promises of never breaking my heart.

F@ck having my heart shattered by someone that knew heartbreak and hated those that caused it.

F@ck me for not being able to let go and just get over it.

F@ck dreams that turn to nightmares.

F@ck being alone.

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lcoxwell, I can so relate to your post. I'm truly lucky to be here as my heart arrhythmia issue was assumed to be from anxiety and grief for months. One ER doctor had apparently even decided I was going to the ER for the attention from the doctors, likely from loneliness and anxiety per the doctor's notes. On my 3rd time having him at the ER, he told me that he couldn't find anything wrong, but gave me his exact work schedule for the weekend and told me to come back then if I had anymore issues. I thought that was completely strange until I learned from my PCP that he was testing to see if I came back to see him. Talk about full of himself.

 

On my 6th visit, after I was starting to believe that I really was losing my mind, they decided to keep me overnight for a stress test the next morning which identified the potentially fatal arrhythmia. Suddenly everyone flew into action around me, which had me bewildered because I'd been told for months nothing was wrong with me. I'm so thankful I had the stubbornness left in me to keep going back to try to find out what was really wrong.

 

I realize that some medical issues are hard to detect, but I resent them making an assumption it was just grief and anxiety making me needy. Yes, I was an emotional mess at the time, because I was so afraid of my kids becoming orphans and missing my husband. But I was clearly describing my symptoms.

 

I'm really glad you have MDs you feel you can count on now.

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Fuck doctors who do not take women's health issues seriously, who just quickly dismiss symptoms to stress, migraines, anxiety, etc. Ooh, this has me truly boiling mad. It is ridiculous how many stories I have heard--and the life-threatening extent of them--of doctors ignoring women's heart health symptoms.

 

I am so glad you ladies finally found the medical attention you deserved and needed.

 

 

(Note that this is not my wife's story. Our heart health advocacy has been in large part to give back because of the great care she did receive.)

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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING COLD SORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck that I have had constant outbreaks despite being on suppressive meds. Fuck that I got hardly any out breaks for three fucking years but now that I am dating someone who makes his living with his mouth they will not go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck that I have tried EVERYTHING and they will not go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck that these fucking cocksuckers put my daughter in the NICU the first week of her life. Fuck that I could loose the one thing that's helped lift me out of this hell, made me feel human again.

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Efffff people that have no sense of compassion to someone in a difficult situation and effff me for feeling so guilty when I think to myself that maybe someday they might be in a similar situation and then they might understand (or allowing them to get to me in the first place).

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Oh SVS, I came here to pretty much say the same thing.

Tonight I was talking about how my boys run me ragged, not intentionally of course, but they are kids and I'm essentially doing this on my own now. When my dh was alive we shared parenting duties, now it's all on me. Oblivious family member stated..just wait until they get older, as she has teenagers, but she also has a husband to help. I was pissed. I didn't say anything but on the tip of my tongue was "fuck you. You have fucking help with your kids." It was the condescending tone used by her more than even her words. I'm grateful for the help I do have, but why can't I complain once in awhile and just have an empathetic ear to listen to me instead of people who dismiss it? I know it could be worse, but goddamn it, I just need to bitch once and awhile and I don't do it often.

Same thing happens at work, I can't take extra shifts right now because of placement and my kids yet my coworkers don't seem to understand. One time I was saying about how the kids hate when I have a night shift because they have to spend the night at my parents, my coworker said "yeah I had to work nights when mine were younger, they get used to it" ummm, totally different situation, her kids stayed at home with their dad. Mine don't have that option. Fuck. Sorry for the rant, I'm usually not this bitchy!

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Guest TooSoon

I would like to send a very special eff off to the granting organization that emailed me 10 days ago to tell me my research project proposal was rejected but which then also felt the need to send a letter this week to reiterate that point.  Thanks, but I got it the first time, no reinforcement of message required. 

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