Saying Olin to Say Goodbye -Donald Hackett (Say His/Her Name!)

[canadiangirl]

WifeLess previously shared this poem and I wanted to post it here so I could access it again -perhaps it will resonate with others whose partners/spouses are rarely mentioned now.  This is an adaptation of a poem from "Saying Olin to Say Goodbye" by Donald Hackett. The version here is for widows, although it can be easily modified for widowers, partners, etc. The blank ___ should be filled in with one's husband's/wife's/partner's name.  Thank you WifeLess!

 

===================

 

Say ___ .

 

The time of concern is over. No longer am I asked how I am doing.

Never is the name of my husband mentioned to me.

A curtain descends. The moment has passed. A life slips from frequent recall.

There are exceptions: close and comforting friends, sensitive and loving family.

For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent.

But for me, the play will never end. The effects on me are timeless.

 

Say ___ to me.

 

On the stage of my life, he has been both lead and supporting actor.

Do not tiptoe around the greatest event of my life. Love does not die.

His name is written on my life. The sound of his voice replays within my mind.

You feel he is dead. I feel he is of the dead and still lives.

You say he was my husband, I say he is.

 

Say ___ to me and say ___ again.

 

It hurts to bury his memory in silence.

What he was in flesh has now turned to ash.

What he is in spirit, stirs within me always.

He is of my past, but he is part of my present.

He is my hope for the future.

 

You say not to remind me. How little you understand I cannot forget.

I would not if I could.

I forgive you, because you cannot know.

I strive to not judge you, for yesterday I was like you.

I do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy.

I walk it not by choice. I would rather walk it with him in the flesh.

I am what I have to be. What I have lost you cannot feel.

What I have gained you cannot see.

 

Say ___ , for he is alive in me.

 

He and I will meet again, though in many ways we have never parted.

He and his life play light songs on my mind, sunrises and sunsets on my dreams.

He is real and he is shadow.

He was and he is.

He is my husband and I love him as I always did.

 

Say ___ to me and say ___ again.

 

[WifeLess]

Bumping this up in memory of all our deceased spouses this Holiday Season.

[WifeLess]

Since the Holiday Season is often a time of rememberance of those we lost, bumping this up again.