mo

fuck me for all the times in the last two years (pg, miscarriage, pg, 9 month old) that i rejected my husband when he came on to me

for all the times i turned away when he tried to kiss me, out of frustration, or irritation or just plain stupidity

and especially fuck me that he has been gone for three weeks and im sooooo fucking horny. its all just so fucked up

I feel that anger and I have no one to be angry at. My husband died three weeks ago too.

My sister in law set up a massage for me. It was too much, too intimate. I just kept thinking that the last person to touch me was my husband. And how long until I feel someone else's touch? And will it still feel as good as it did? How long until I don't have to pay someone to touch me? I cried the whole time but stayed because it felt so good.